Oneirophrenia
by BlackBoxFox
Summary: Sasuke and Sakura embark on a mission to discover the secrets of the Otsutsuki clan, while Sakura has a side project that leads down some very explorative roads for the two Sanin, both for their mission and for themselves to discover about each other. Rated M for Violence, Profanity, and possibly more.
1. Chapter 1

Oneirophrenia: a hallucinatory, dream-like state caused by several conditions such as prolonged sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation, or drugs.

—Chapter One—

—-Sakura Haruno-—

"Sakura."

My name reverberated in my ear drums with a deep tenor that sent a shiver down my spine. That's all it took, hearing his voice again. Suddenly without turning around I felt his presence. He had been hiding his chakra out of what I'm assuming is force of habit, and he chose to let his guard down in my office to alert me to his presence at the last second.

I turned around in my office chair and see him standing in the doorway, taking up the whole frame of it with his wide shoulders in his travel cloak. His eyes were soft…

"Tadaima."

His hair was longer, a few inches past his shoulders. It fell straight down his back looking more like Itachi without the ponytail. His face was rougher, weathered by the sun and the wilderness but somehow still held the same softness as when he was a kid.

"Sasuke-kun!" I felt myself let go of the breath I was holding and couldn't help but smile. "You're home," I said finally.

"Aah" He breathed.

I held his gaze for a few seconds too long, the air hung around his soft answer. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I sputtered to finally break the awkward silence.

"Are you hurt? Why are you at the Hospital?" I looked him up and down, trying to asses the damage he might've sustained on his long journey. His clothes looked worn with holes and hasty repairs, stained from old blood of battles that clearly ended quickly, probably for the other guy.

"I'm fine," he said finally, easing up from leaning on the doorway he turned his shoulder to leave, "Kakashi told me to relieve you of your shift. Naruto has invited us all for Ramen."

"Oh! Okay, well..umm..let me just," I hastily stood up from my desk, knocking over my pen and several charts. "Shit!" I gathered them all up as best as I could and quickly finished signing the prescription I was writing.

"Are you coming?" He stood in the doorway, waiting for me.

"Yes! I-just need to swing by and drop this off," I held up the little yellow slip and rounded the corner.

My heart was racing a million miles a minute as we walked out of the hospital doors. I felt like I was in a dream, I had just worked a fifteen hour shift I wouldn't be surprised if I _were_ dreaming.

I pinched myself in the arm just to check. Yep. This is happening.

Sasuke is finally home! I caught myself smiling and quickly relaxed the corners of my mouth and took a deep breath. I've been daydreaming about his homecoming since the night he left and now that he's finally home I can't think of a single damn thing to say.

We walked silently towards Ichiraku and I…honestly didn't mind. Silences with Sasuke were pretty common, but today was different. He felt different, his presence felt different.

I wondered what happened on his journey of atonement. How much has he learned and how much has he experiences in his quest to redeem himself? The Sasuke walking beside me seemed to be walking in the footsteps of his childhood self, taking in the familiar path from the hospital to the ramen shop, an old Team 7 mission completion ritual.

"Teme!" A familiar scream echoed down the street. It felt like Deja Vu.

The missing piece of this memory bounded towards us at full speed and tackle-hugged Sasuke, pulling him into a headlock.

"You're finally back you fucking asshole!" He punched Sasuke in the arm and smiled so big you could see all of his teeth. "It's about damn time! You missed my wedding but that's fine. You just owe me on the training grounds later, you better not pull any punches either I've been getting rusty in all this peace-time!"

"Hn, You're a glutton for punishment. Don't think I'll hold back on you."

"Oy! You two idiots better not come crying to me when you go overboard and rip each other's arms off...AGAIN." I crossed my arms and huffed but...I can't help it. I leaned back and laughed at the two boys in front of me. I laughed so hard my eyes started watering.

"What's so funny, Sakura-can?" Naruto suddenly looked very confused.

"It's like being a kid again!" I sighed, "Seeing you two like this, its nostalgic isn't it?" I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and smiled over at them. "Come on you two, let's eat!" I started walking towards the ramen shop and Naruto smiled again. They quickly followed suit with Naruto racing to his favorite spot on the bar and Sasuke following close behind.

Naruto sat on my right and Sasuke on my left.

And Kakashi was late as usual.

"Yo!" He finally peeked through the curtain.

"You're late! Hokage-sensei!" Naruto berated. Kakashi just smiled with his eyes like always and grabbed a seat.

"I told you, Kakashi is just fine. You three aren't my students anymore." He pulled off his Hokage hat and set it down between his seat and Sasuke's. "Glad you could make it, Sakura."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world, sen~sei~." I teased. He would always be Kakashi-sensei to me but I don't think he minds. He rolled his eyes but I could see the curve of a smile beneath his mask.

We ordered our food and amidst a barrage of questions and life updates, mostly being spoken by Naruto on both accounts, I reminisced in the familiarity of what was happening. Sasuke sarcastically calling Naruto a loser or a dumbass, Naruto calling Sasuke a bastard. Kakashi managing to eat his ramen at record speed while we were all distracted by an argument over why Sasuke didn't write him any letters in the time he was gone.

I happily slurped my ramen while they both caught up. I didn't mind being the third wheel in the conversation, I was tired and I felt happy just being there in the moment, until Kakashi interrupted a very one sided conversation about how beautiful of a bride Hinata made on their wedding day.

"Ah yes, Sasuke have you given any thought on where you were going to stay since you've returned?"

"Oh yeah, Teme, where will you be staying? I'm pretty sure your old apartment was destroyed and rebuilt I'm sure the landlady already gave the room away." He said through a mouthful of ramen.

"I'll rent a room at an inn for the time being," he said, taking a sip of his water.

I found myself holding my breath again.

"So you're leaving again… " I said softly. Somehow I already knew the answer.

"Yes." He answered. "There are things I need to take care of, still."

I unclenched my fists and bit my lip. Of course he wasn't staying.

"Is this about Kaguya?" Kakashi said. I whipped my head up.

"Kaguya?" _Is she still a threat?_ Sasuke nodded and looked over at me.

"She was just one of many." He said. His eyes locked with mine and I felt my voice catch in my throat. If Kaguya was still a threat then I couldn't possibly be selfish enough to ask Sasuke to stay here. My chest hurt from the realization that I was never going to be able to ask that of him. He couldn't stay here, not for very long. It wouldn't make sense. He was more useful out there, protecting everyone. Being free from any tethers or responsibilities that held civilians captive in their routines.

"Well, fuck." Naruto finally said.

Kakashi sighed and got up from his chair. "We have you to thank for the intel, Sasuke. Now we can more directly assess the threat." He places his money on the counter and thanked Ayame who playfully waved goodbye to her favorite customer. How those two don't just date already, I'll never know. "I'll see you all later. Oh, and by the way Sakura," he said

"What?" I blinked up at him.

"You're going with him." He said. "This mission will require a medic with the Byakugo No In. Sasuke will brief you on the details." My mouth opened to say something but I couldn't quite grasp the barrage of conflicting feelings that just went through me. Excitement? Fear? Panic?

"What about the clinic? Or my rounds at the hospital?" I sputtered.

"Taken Care of," he smiled.

"We leave in three days." Sasuke pushed himself up from the bar and Naruto and I followed suit. My heart refused to calm down. It was finally happening. I was going with him.

"Why do you guys get to have all the fun?" Naruto pouted. "I wanna kick some Otsutsuki ass too!" He pounded his fist into his palm enthusiastically.

"You have training to do, Naruto," Kakashi said, "if you want to be named as my successor." He raised an eyebrow at the blonde and put his hat back onto his head.

Naruto straightened his shoulders and got serious.

"Hai, Hokage-sensei," he smiled. Kakashi rolled his eyes and vanished in a puff of smoke. Naruto grinned ear to ear at teasing his former sensei and turned to Sasuke. "Don't hog all the bad guys, Teme. I fully expect an invitation to the big fight." He pounded his chest triumphantly. "Sakura-chan, don't let this asshole die."

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

Just like old times.

Turns out the inn Sasuke planned to stay at is down the street from me. We found ourselves walking in the same direction home.

I couldn't bring myself to say a word. Every thought in my head was weaving itself into a web of contingency plans. Things to pack, supplies, books, I'd have to get Ino to watch over my garden of medicinal herbs…how long was I going to be gone? Weeks? Months? Years even? Sasuke has been following Kaguya's trail for almost four years not who knows how deep this rabbit hole goes…

"…does that work for you?"

Wait…what?

"I'm sorry..I didn't hear your question." I stopped chewing on my thumbnail and looked up at him. God, he was so much taller than me…

"I'll be by to pick you up at 7." He said, stopping in the road. I looked up to see the stairs to my apartment complex. When did we…

"At seven...tomorrow? wait what for?"

"Getting supplies...Are you ok?"  
Sasuke put his hand on my forehead and I froze.

"Y-yeah I'm fine I'm just...tired is all," I swatted his hand away gently and pulled my keys out of my lab coat pocket. Sasuke stepped in closer and lifted my chin up to meet his gaze.

He held it there for a moment, examining my face. I took a second to stare at his one jet black eye and the way the streetlamp light across the street just barely highlighted the grey flecked in his…his brothers eye. I have to remember that…the piece of his brother he carries with him everywhere he goes. I snapped out of my stupor when I saw him lock eyes with me, brows slightly furrowed.

"W-What...?" I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks under his gaze.

"Your eyes are darker than I remember" he said. "It really has been a long time."  
His hand fell back to his side and he began to turn to walk away. "Get some sleep." He said.

"Sasuke-kun, wait.." I bit my lip. I shouldn't have said anything. Sasuke turned back around and raised an eyebrow at me to continue.

"Since it's only a few nights, do you want to sleep on my couch?" _Why was I doing this?!_ "You can brief me on the mission, I'll make tea and that way we can work out all the details and collect supplies and you don't have to waste money on a hotel..." Why was my mouth still moving? _Stupid. Stupid_!

Sasuke paused for a moment before finally saying,

"Ok."

—-Sasuke-—

"Huh?"

Sakura looked up incredulously. As if I took her by surprise.

"Did you expect me to say no?" I said calmly, watching the blush on her cheeks darken. I forgot how much fun it was to tease her about her crush on me. I never got to fully enjoy it.

Sakura pouted a little; "Well you don't exactly have a great track record of taking my offers," she rolled her eyes. "But I did offer so, come on in. "

Sakura opened the door to a small modern one bedroom apartment on the first floor. Her living room was adjacent to the kitchen with a master bedroom to the right. Her walls were filled with bookshelves and cabinets filled with mason jars of dried herbs and specimens. There was an entire shelf dedicated for scrolls. Some full of notes and research by none other than Dr. herself.

"Make yourself at home, Sasuke-kun." She said over her shoulder as she hung her lab coat on the hook by the door. She slipped her shoes off and went straight for the kitchen.

I decided to take off my cloak and hang it up for the night as well.

"Would you like some tea? It's decaf I promise. It's an herbal blend I've been experimenting with lately for relaxation." Sakura places a full kettle of water on the stove and begins to scoop the flowers from another mason jar into a tea bag.

"As long as it isn't poison." I said, walking along her living room. I reached down and grabbed the nearest book off the table _. Is this English?_ I could barely make out the title on the cover.

"Ha. Ha. I see you've gotten a sense of humor since I saw you last." Sakura pulled out a second tea bag. "I don't keep my poisonous herbs in the kitchen, Naruto would probably end up killing himself. And me in the process."

She placed the teabags in two mugs on the countertop and waited for the kettle to whistle.

"That book is written in Spanish." She said. "It's written about indigenous desert cacti in the West."

Oh. Boring. I set the book back down on the table.

"You're welcome to help yourself to any book you'd like." She offered. "Let me know if you want me to unseal any of the S-Class ones."

The kettle started whistling.

 _S-Class huh?_ That definitely sounds more interesting than cacti. I got up and started to peruse her collection out of curiosity. It's strange, the things you can learn about a person through their library collection. Sakura has books on combat and weapons, ninja history and law. Not uncommon things for a shinobi to have. But as you skimmed further and further across the shelves I started to see things I couldn't even begin to understand. Texts in different languages. Books on languages themselves. Notebooks labeled with corresponding medical texts. Medical books filled with color coded sticky-notes.

The Sakura I remember was a walking encyclopedia. But just how much knowledge did one girl manage to store in her mind. I walked over to one of the cabinets and tried to open a door but to no avail, the cabinet was locked.

"Remember those poisonous herbs I was telling you about earlier? Here," She said, handing me a warm mug of tea. It smelled of peppermint and somewhat floral. I took a sip. No sweetener.

"Arigatou." I said. Sakura flinched a moment but smiles back. I'll change the subject. "Can I see?"

"In the cabinet? Sure if you want." Sakura did a few hand seals and pointed two fingers towards the lock. A version of the chakra scalpel extended from her fingers and took the shape of a jagged edged key. A seal glowed on the doors of the cabinet at the recognition of her green chakra. The doors creaked open.

Inside were rows and rows of jars far more than the tiny windows hinted at. Each shelf was labeled.

Deadly

Intoxicating

Illegal

Dangerous

Hybrids

Antidotes

The final shelf was filled with vials and jars of salves next to notebooks filled with recipes and ingredients.

It was breathtakingly extensive. Even comparable to Orochimaru's own personal collection. He found human biology more fascinating than poisons. Although I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it piques his interest. Orochimaru would have an interesting conversation with Sakura…if given the chance to speak. I don't think she would let him forget the Chuunin exams without a punch or two.

She reached onto the shelf labeled "Dangerous" and pulled out a jar of black berries labeled _Coyotillo- karwinskia humboldtiana._ Behind that I caught a glimpse of a jar of _Deadly Nightshade_.

"One of my newest arrivals. I traded with a merchant in the land of waves a few months ago. Said these berries grew in the deserts in the West. I got just a few seeds but managed to mimic a desert climate in one of my terrariums to grow a few of these berries. They contain a slow acting poison that activates after days or weeks in your bloodstream. It causes paralysis." She explained turning the jar over in her hands. "First your extremities, your arms, your legs. Then your respiratory system and finally your tongue and throat. It's a very cruel little berry" she placed it back on the shelf with an endearing smile on her face, proud of the collection she's accumulated. The way she said it felt vaguely like a threat, but she smiled and locked the door to the cabinet once more and looked up at me with her striking green eyes.

"I'm sorry."

The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. Sakura stood there looking up at me, her lips parting in surprise. "...For what?"

"For everything. Again." _Because I haven't earned your forgiveness yet_.

"You already apologized for that, Sasuke." She smiles and lifted her hand to my face. Her fingertips grazed my jaw and I felt a trail of electricity where they had been when she pulled them away and turned to walk towards her room. "Let me know when you want to apologize for anything specific," she walked over to the coffee table and opened the top, pulling out a blanket and two pillows.

"The shower is in my room if you want to use it before bed," she said, walking towards her bedroom door. She ran her hands through her short cropped hair and I released a breath I didn't know I was holding.

...Maybe I made a mistake saying yes to her offer. I touched my jaw discreetly where her fingers were just seconds before, and followed her into her bedroom.

—-

The hot water hit my shoulders with a hiss. It felt good to have a real shower after the past couple weeks on the road. The last bath I took was in a nearby river.

Sakura's soap collection was as colorful as I expected. I popped open one of the bottles.

Berries. Hmm.

Nestled away behind all the purple and pink bottles was one of a very utilitarian all-in-one generic soap, about half full. I picked it up and turned it over a couple of times and stared at the somehow offensive bottle. _Why are_ _ **you**_ _here?_

I popped open the lid with my thumb, it took a little bit of effort and I noticed the dried soap around the cap. It hasn't been opened in a while. A quick peek inside showed the soap had separated with a thin oily layer on top.

Guess I'm using the berry scented one.

A knot unfurled in the pit of my stomach as I lathered the soap in my hair. _When did it get so long?_ I picked the bottle back up and put another glob of purple soap in my hair. Process of elimination, the soap was probably Naruto's. Or Kakashi's. Naruto recently married so that would explain the tucked away location and the long ignored separation of ingredients in the soap. I made a mental note to replace the bottle tomorrow, along with a new toothbrush.

I stepped out into the steam filled bathroom and wrapped the white towel around my waist. The lingering thought of Sakura having spare shampoo over for another man kept crossing my mind. I've been gone a while, she wasn't supposed to wait for me.

 _But you wanted her to._

I braced myself on the counter of her bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I don't usually bother to take the time to really look at myself, my appearance took a backseat in most of my endeavors. I can't even remember there really being any mirrors at Orochimaru's hideout now that I think about it. Their absence never even crossed my mind.

Vanity was an unnecessary luxury on the path for strength.

Still, I took this moment of peace to really take a look at myself. My hair really has grown much longer that I realized. I reached back and pulled it into a ponytail and for a moment I could see my brother staring back at me in the mirror. I looked into my eyes…his eyes..

I released my hair and found something else to observe. Scar tissue was highlighted under the fluorescent lighting and I noticed just how many covered my body. Mementos of my childhood crisscrossed with scars of war and vengeance. I forgot where many of them came from but things like scars tend to come with the territory of being a shinobi, so I didn't give it much thought.

My left shoulder however, looked pristine. Sakura's handiwork was unparalleled, it didn't even look like I had a left arm to begin with. There was no scar, just smooth skin where I used to have another appendage.

I've been getting along just fine with my right arm alone. It's been difficult at times, there are days I forget it isn't there anymore. A phantom limb. I'll go to reach for something and feel the ghost of my fingertips outstretched where nothing but empty space resides.

It was more than a fair trade, for all of the things I've done. To sacrifice a part of me and to learn how to live again, differently. I sighed and tilted my head side to side, releasing the tension. I was tired.

I held my toothbrush in my teeth and squeezed the toothpaste onto it and continued cleaning myself up before bed.

I pushed the impending thought of the fucking shampoo bottle out of my head...after promptly throwing it into the trashcan next to the sink. It landed with a satisfying _thunk_ in the small plastic bin.

My small victory for the evening. It'll have to do.

-End Chapter One-

Thanks so much for reading! I hope to continue this story and explore what I believe happened in the Blank Period, where Sakura companies Sasuke on his travels. I like to imagine these small, mundane acts they go through as they figure out what they are to each other.

I also wanted to explore a more reformed, relaxed version of Sasuke. A version that is ready to begin again and maybe isn't so angry and angsty all the time. Don't get me wrong, I fully intend to write him with angst. But more of the seeking forgiveness kind of angst since Sasuke is terrible at expressing himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Oneirophrenia

—-Chapter 2—

(Rated M-Mature Themes)

-Sakura Haruno-

While Sasuke showered I decided to start packing. I pulled out my travel pack which, thankfully, already had most of the essentials prepared already. So I started with the basics and began to gather some clothes. Not a ton but enough underwear to get me through a week at least. Everything else I could wear for a few days and then I packed a single spare so I could wash and alternate. Sasuke traveled pretty light so I didn't worry too much about frivolous camping gear.

I had a few weapons on hand already packed in their holsters. I grabbed me from the closet to inspect the metal. It's been a while since I've had a mission that involved serious battle now that we're in peacetime.

I slid the steel out of its sheath.

 _Ugh, I thought so._ They're pretty beat up. They're either going to have to be seriously sharpened down or replaced. Either way means I'm paying a visit to TenTen's shop tomorrow so I can have weapons ready for the trip.

For now, I settled for packing a scroll with a summoning for my battle axe, where it fit neatly in one of the side pockets. I know for a fact that one stays sharp. It's well maintained for sure.

I caught myself smiling when I realized Sasuke had kept his promise. " _Maybe next tim_ e" was finally here.

Sasuke has been gone for a few years now.

 _3 years and 62 days to be exact._ My inner voice taunted. Of course I've been keeping track.

I glanced over at the photo on my bedside table of us as kids. Sasuke's pout as a kid only gets better with age. It seems so ridiculous, seeing the stoic man he's become and remembering that at one point in his life he got embarrassed or upset.

The man is a master of the poker face, he could win a gambling match with Tsunade and wouldn't even have to try not to care.

I wonder what this new Sasuke is like though, there's no longer this foreboding hostility or threatening aura surrounding him anymore. I closed my eyes and tried to feel his chakra. It was calm, like water. Controlled and almost rhythmic…I could feel it ebbing with a slow pace that felt like breathing…

Until it wasn't.

Suddenly his chakra signature spiked for a second, and what felt like still water now felt like a rushing river, then calmed to a trickling creek. It stayed that way for a few moments and I backed off. _What the hell was that? Could he feel me sensing him? Was that a warning?_ So many thoughts raced through my mind but something has him agitated. Like when the hair sticks up on a spine of a cat, Sasuke's chakra was the first warning.

I wonder what was bothering him? It's probably best not to ask. Don't wanna seem too overbearing.

 _Or annoying_. Yeah, that too.

I heard the water shut off and the shower door open echo in the bathroom when-

*tap tap tap*

Looking over my shoulder I saw a small black crow seated on my windowsill. A small piece of parchment tied to its leg.

 _A message_?

I grabbed a handful of birdseed from a jar I kept by the window for such an occasion and opened it up to my jet black messenger. This guy is a younger crow, probably just out of training. The treats help them familiarize and it helps him relax as I start messing with his leg

He graciously ate the treat as I untied the note and accepted a small stroking of his feathers as his cue to fly away.

A breeze rolled in through the open window, it was wonderful outside! A little brisk but the cool air felt welcome on my face. I took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of the city. I could smell the bakery down the street beginning to fill the air. It smelled wonderful, like fresh bread. The singing of the cicadas also chorused in the trees. Sitting up on the edge of the windowsill I decided to leave it open while I read the note.

"What's that?"

 _Oh my god how is he so quiet_?!

"I'm about to find out," I said coolly, trying to to let on that he took me by surprise. I unrolled the parchment with my fingers and tried not to focus on the shirtless shinobi hovering across the room in my peripheral vision. I read the note aloud.

 _Mission Update:_

 _The Lotus Bar_

 _Happy hour_

 _-T_

"Should I go with you?" He asked, drying his hair with a small hand towel. I looked up at him from across the room, his lower half obscured by my bed but not enough to hide the fact that he had nothing but a towel around his waist. The tapered muscles of his abs was enough to make me bite my lower lip. He wasn't _fair_. He has to know what his body does to women. There's _no way_ he's that oblivious.

Sasuke stopped fussing with his hair and I released my lip from in between my teeth.

"Tsunade-shishou isn't Hokage anymore, so this is probably hospital related. You can come if you want but I can't promise it'll be very exciting. It's probably just adding a stop to our itinerary," I suggested. Plus, Tsunade could be really temperamental...especially if she's drinking... _She scheduled our meeting for Happy Hour?! Who knows what kind of nonsense she's gonna try to talk me into doing for her_?! Offering a drink is her way of getting drunk men to put more chips in the pot, happy hour can only mean she wants a favor and I'm probably not gonna like it.

Sasuke walked over, hand towel draped over his left shoulder and plucked the tiny piece of paper from my hands.

"I'll go with you," he said firmly. The small paper ignited in flame and disappeared into smoke with a small burst of chakra. I stared at him incredulously,

"Tsunade doesn't like you," I countered.

"A lot of people don't like me."

I opened my mouth to say something snarky but took a deep breath instead. Being sarcastic was a good way of distracting myself from how much I wanted his body pressed up against mine... But he had a point. Sasuke was still fighting an uphill battle in the popularity department.

His journey for revenge took so many turns, and took so many lives in the process . His entire world has been shattered so many times I think even he's lost count. Sasuke was so incredibly lost in a web of lies and history that I can't imagine where his head is at now, years after winning a war. After fighting his best friend and seeing only darkness for so long he forgot what light felt like. I wonder how much he's changed since he's opened his eyes again...

"Some people do..." I said gently instead. "I always have." I reached out and took his right hand in my left. Our fingers gently hooked on each other's for a moment. My thumb brushed over the bruised knuckles on his index and middle fingers and I was surprised he didn't pull away. _I wonder if these were from battle or from training_. I collected a small amount of chakra in the pad of my thumb and eased the swelling.

"I know," he said softly. I smiled softly, still looking at our hands and finally let go as he gently pulled away. "Goodnight, Sakura."

"Oyasumi, Sasuke-kun."

He walked out of my bedroom and shut the door quietly behind him. _His back looked just as good as the front_. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. How long was this mission going to take?

I'm going to have to spend months with him there's no way I can put up with this beating so fast. I bit my lip and rolled back, falling onto the bed.

 _Fuck_.

Reality was finally starting to set in.

He's here. He's sleeping on my couch. We're going on a mission together. _He's hot. Like unbearably hot_. We're both adults now, though barely so. We've both grown a lot in the past few years. In different ways, for sure. I only hoped I didn't look too much like a child still. I get criticized all the time at the hospital for how young I look.

It tends to get annoying pretty quickly.

I looked over at the wood door separating us. This is the closest I've been to him in _years_...

I turned my head and stared at my underwear there sat a very expensive, very embarrassing vibrator.

Ino got it for me as a birthday present two years ago, after boasting to me about her fulfilling sex life with Sai in explicit detail I struggle to forget.

" _Sakura I am serious. Just try it out and see if you like it. You don't even have to put it in at first you know just like...give yourself a little...show?" She made circles over her crotch with an open palm and wiggles her eyebrows with a smirk._

 _And oh did I_.

Ino called me "A modern feminist virgin". That is, a virgin without a virginity to lose. I took it myself, on my own terms and explored my own sexuality with the person I trust most: myself. _It's led to a lot of 'self discovery', and I am not shy with myself either._

Let's just say it's been put to good use. I even got treated to a drink by Ino to " _cheers your first orgasm!"_ However..

I absolutely cannot use it for the next three days. It's not exactly a secret who I want. And I don't want the subject of all my fantasies to hear me moan his name from the other side of my bedroom door. And all I can think about is his body...

I've started glaring at the drawer now.

I also can't take it with me.

 _Kami, this is going to be the longest mission of my life!_

—

"So...Sasuke is back I see."

"Yep."

"And out shopping with you."

"Uhuh."

"Does Ino know?"

"No! I'll get around to it! Things have just been _busy,_ " I whispered through gritted teeth. I shot a glance down the aisle Sasuke was looking at. Swords. Of course.

"She's gonna kill you if she doesn't find out like, Yesterday," Tenten said, resting her head in the palm of her hand as she sat behind her desk. "That woman wouldn't be satisfied if you could predict the future and tell her _before_ it happened."

"Yeah wait until she finds out he slept on my couch last night."

"You're joking."

"And for the next two nights"

"She's gonna make you tell her everything, are you taking notes?"

"God help me..." I put my face into my hands and groaned. Ino was relentless, she need to have detailed descriptions of every guy who's asked me out ever. Sometimes she asks me their blood types. _And sometimes I know the answer because I'm their doctor._

On the Topic of Sasuke however? Ino might need to schedule a day around it.

That's a problem for later, for right now I need to be preparing for a mission _. Oh god I have to tell her about the mission too!_

"How's my baby doing?" I put my hands on the desk and gave Tenten my best puppy dog impression. I needed a change of subject.

Tenten rolled her eyes and smiles. "Come on, let's have a look at her."

And man, was she beautiful. A ornately carved 3 foot wide steel axe with a red leather wrapped handle and onyx stone inlays in the mast. Tenten handed me a piece of rope and I held it to the edge of the blade. The rope split just resting against the blade, thin and sharp. It was a Jounin graduation gift from Tsunade 4 months ago. And Tenten was meticulous in her sharpening skills. And I pay her really well to do it.

"She's so pretty I can't wait to use her one day." I grazed my hand over the beautiful carving of cherry blossom trees on the steel. Right under the branches was the carved in summoning seal, ready to be called into battle at a moments notice.

Tenten just laughed. "I pity the next guy who slaps your ass at a bar." She started walking back towards the front of the store.

"Are you ready to go?" Sounded Sasuke from the other room.

"On our way out!" I shouted back at him. "Seriously though Tenten thanks for taking care of it for me."

"Don't sweat it, it's my job! Just make sure you wrap it before sending it back, I don't want it to end up in the floor pile with everyone else's." She gestures towards the large summoning circle in the center of the room where all the return weapons summons show up to be put back into storage. Currently there were a few swords and some sickles, a cannon shaped like a dragon, a demon wind shuriken the size of a refrigerator and a trident. With a 'poof' a couple of intricate bladed fans appeared, a little bent and dinged up from battle.

We walked into the lobby and Tenten rang up all of our new weapons purchases. I gave her a hug and then we were off to the next stop on our list.

—

"Why is he here?" Tsunade said, shuffling a deck of cards. The music played in the background, mellow and melancholic. It didn't suit the tense mood at all...

"Well were going to be traveling together so he wanted to know what the Update was." I took a sip of cider from the pint glass Shishou so happily ordered for me because 'it's happy hour, not drinking is rude." Sasuke ordered a water and declined, clearly not caring about politeness.

Didn't help his case with Tsunade's bad side, but it can't be helped I guess.

Tsunade just sighed and pressed the glass of sake to her lips, "Let's get down to business then, if that's the case. I wouldn't want to waste the _almighty Uchiha's_ precious time catching up with my protégée now would I?" She took a sip and set the empty glass down, preparing to pour another.

"I'll owe you a drink and a game next time, I promise." I offered, trying to ease the tension.

"Only if you're planning on betting something worth playing for, kiddo," she teased.

"How about the bottle of Blue Label Scotch my parents gave me from their trip to waves. I've only had one drink and its been on my shelf ever since." I offered, knowing my audience well.

"Now you're talking," she said, dealing the cards in front of us in two neat piles. Sasuke was just along for the ride at this point. Which was fine, Not very many people knew how to navigate her nuanced sarcasm and impatience.

Tsunade finished dealing the cards and asked me to flip the cards over.

They were blank. I saw Sasuke begin to shift in his seat, watching every move out of the corner of my eye as Tsunade plucked a car out of her fan and place it face up on the table in play.

Her middle finger never left the card as she spun it three times and activated a seal.

Words began to appear out of the smoke and revealed what looked to be a character card with the photo of a wiry looking old man with glasses and a very serious hardened face.

 _Hidden Rock_

 _Hiroto Ren_

 _Herbalist_

Underneath his name was a series of coordinates, a list of gambling tells, and a basic summary.

"Ren is a poker buddy of mine from Iwagakure in the Land of Earth. He's an herbal specialist with a greenhouse full of rare and at times, illegal plants. I have an order I need you to pick up, and I'm going to advise you to do some shopping on your own because it's rare he agrees to a meeting but I need you to figure out his price. A lot of the plants I need are very, very illegal." She said softly, handing me the card. "I placed this order with him two years ago, before he embarked on an excursion over seas. I don't know how difficult these plants were to obtain, or maintain so I'm expecting the price to be steep, and unconventional."

"The Land of Earth is weeks away, how long will I have to negotiate the transaction without corresponding with you?" I asked. _Surely she didn't expect me to front the money?! "_ What kind of price are we talking about? _"_

"He's a businessman, Sakura. I know exactly what he's going to want: something more marketable. I'm sending you in my place because poisons and antidotes are your specialty. I'm hoping that you can be resourceful. He has high standards, and I will give you all the information you need on the plants that I've requested from him."

Tsunade pushes the rest of my deck in front of me and I fanning them out on the table. These were my information.

"Sakura he is going to want salves, teas, poisons, hair care products if you have to. You are my most talented student, and this type of problem solving has always been your most passionate skill. These plants have so many different uses."

I gathered the cards back up and stacked them in a deck, placed my middle finger on top of the whole pile and released the seal, revealing photos of different flora, and descriptions for the properties of each one. I grabbed a handful and looked over the cards. Most of the names I didn't recognize, and at least half of them had markings on the top right corner, declaring them as illegal substances.

"Just because something is illegal, does not make it bad. Many of these plants were made illegal by corrupt businessmen looking for a monopoly on medicine and resources." She held out her hand and I returned the deck to her. After sifting through the deck for a moment she pulled out a card labeled _Mitragyna speciosa_.

"This plant is a potent painkiller, with no addictive side effects and even has an antidepressant effect. Guess who made it illegal?"

"Someone in charge of a more addictive painkiller, like opium?" I suggested.

"Exactly. These are all very useful for medicines, antidotes, and treatments. Their uses can be beneficial in so many ways for people who need them. I need these plant seeds to grow and cultivate our own supply here in Konoha; so I need you to help me get them and make sure that they're well taken care of. I will provide you with a transport scroll to house them so they won't be in your way during your travels. Do not let them out of your sight until you can get them back to me. Do you understand?"

"Hai, Shishou."

"Uchiha." Tsunade barked over at Sasuke. "You let my precious student get a single scratch I will be donating your body to science so I can rip you apart and put you back together again forever." She threatened. I opened my mouth to stop her-

"Sakura is not weak." Sasuke said.

My mouth hung open. I felt a blush creep into my face. Before I could process his compliment Tsunade chimes in.

"You're damn right she isn't. So don't underestimate her and trust her as a teammate. I don't need your arrogance fucking up in a battle where you underestimate your opponent. She could run circles around you when it comes to cooperative strategy and your lone wolf tendencies are a strategic disadvantage."

Sasuke nodded and looked at me. "I trust her." He said.

 _Pinch me I'm dreaming._

"Then you two are dismissed. Safe travels you two!" She toasted her glass, took a sip and shooed us away to order another drink from the waitress. I swiped the deck of cards from the table and watched as the ink faded back into the blank henge. I tucked the deck in neatly into my hip holster and clicked the snap shut at we walked out of the bar into the busy street.

—-

-Sasuke Uchiha-

"Sakura, I need to brief you on our mission," I said, hanging my cloak on the coat hanger by the door. I slipped off my shoes and started walking towards the couch. Sakura lingered behind me, undoing the clasp of her sandals at her ankle and putting her shoes away neatly next to mine.

"Oh, yeah of course," she said, tucking some stray hair behind her ears. Some the shorter strands came loose and delicately framed her face. She walked past me and I watched as she began to prepare a kettle on the stove. "Would you like some tea?" She asked. I nodded yes and took a seat on the far side of the couch, looking at her the whole time. As much as I told myself to look away from her I couldn't. My eyes observed everything about the way she moved, the way her calves flexed as she stood on her tiptoes to grab a mason jar in the cabinet above her head. She took three jars out and turned around to grab a couple of mugs from the cabinets behind her. Her shirt slipping up with her reach just enough to show the small of her back, where there was the barest hint of a larger scar…

That's odd…

Sakura's body wasn't covered in many scars. From what I could tell from a few feet away, I could tell her arms were pristine and smooth. Her neck was flawless and her face as innocent and untouched by any thin white lines. Her flawless chakra control allowed her to heal any major injuries on herself as soon as they happened, preventing the development of scar tissue. She could probably even eliminate scars she already had if she wanted to. She reached up again and her short sleeve slipped back to reveal the tail end of another set of scars, three parallel lines…

 _Like claws…_

"I know you don't like sweetener in your tea Sasuke-kun, but would you like any milk?" She asked, pulling me out of my daze. She had her back to me as she poured the tea into a coffee mug. As she poured, I walked over to her and waited until he set the kettle down to grab her shoulder and turn her towards me. She gasped a little in surprise as I grabbed the fabric of her sleeve and lifted it up and looked at the three jagged scars cutting through her bicep. Sakura stood frozen and confused as she looked down at the long forgotten scars she had hiding under her shirt. Her eyes widened and softened as she realized what I was looking at. Her hand lifted slowly and she placed her hands on my forearm, lowering it from her shoulder and says,

"You've missed a lot."

I lower my hand for a moment before Sakura hands me a mug of tea. The drink is warm in my hand and she smiles up at me. "I'll tell you my stories if you tell me yours." She teases.

My chest aches at her words. My story is long and full of darkness. I'm not sure what she would think of me should I tell her some of the things I have done…but I find myself wanting to tell her anyway. I find myself on the brink of crumbling in front of her and wanting her to listen to my stories because I know she would stay and listen and hang onto every word of it and still love me…

I know she still loves me. She isn't screaming it in the darkness to try to convince me to stay, but I know she does in a way that no one else will. She sees right through me and I was always so terrified of the way she did that. The way she could anticipate my actions in a way no one else could. How if I let her in any more she would see every bit of the sadness and darkness I tried to hide from her…and everyone else…

I take a sip of the tea she made, earl grey, lavender and chamomile. It was very good.

"We'll have time to catch up on the road ahead," I said instead. We moved over and sat down across from each other on the couch. She sat on the left and tucked her legs up on the cushion, placing her mug on her thigh to rest.

"So whats the plan?" She said, taking a sip of her milk clouded mug. Her hair fell from behind her ears as she leaned over the hot drink to blow on the steam before taking another sip.

"We know that Kaguya was trapped within the moon in this dimension a long time ago, when Hagaromo and Hamura first sealed her into its core. When Naruto and I sealed her this time, we sealed her in another dimension, where hopefully Zetsu doesn't find a way to access her or accumulate chakra in these other dimensions to revive her." I set my mug down onto her coffee table.

Sakura looked over at me with a serious look in her eyes. She nodded for me to continue.

"However, with what happened with Hinata and Toneri raised so many more questions. I've been investigating some of the other dimensions, looking for more clues but the dimensional travel is draining. I will sometimes get stuck in one dimension for days trying to recover and be low on resources. There is so much out there that I cannot do alone…I need you to help me." Sakura perked up and blushed a little at that. "I need your Byakugo No In and your medical expertise by my side so we can assess the threat more effectively."

"So we will be traversing through several of the dimensions and looking for clues about the Otsutsuki clan and assessing wether or not they remain a threat?" She asked, setting her mug down on the table. "How long do you think we will be traveling to cover all that ground, there are so many dimensions…"

"It will take years, Sakura." I said. She looked pensively at the tea settling in her cup. "You will be away from Konoha and your clinic for a long time…"

"I could use the vacation." She said smiling. Her head turned and looked at me with a determined look in her eyes. She leaned back on the couch and said, "I want to get out of here for a while and see the world more. You and Naruto did so much traveling for your training I feel like I've been cooped up for way too long in my books."

She stretched her arms above her head with an eager grin on her face. A blush scattered across her freckled cheeks. She looked excited and suddenly full of energy. Suddenly I found myself thinking about places I wanted to show her…places I think she would like. Sakura likes things with history or with stories attached, her knowledge of the world in books would lead her to a natural curiosity of exploration. One of her more annoying traits on missions I remember. She would get easily distracted by the details of a place just long enough that she'd find herself in trouble.

"Do you want to say goodbye to your parents?" I asked. Her face suddenly fell a bit at the mention of her family. I never understood why she hated the topic so much growing up. She always complained about one thing or another…

"I'll swing by my moms place…" she sighed, placing her chin in the palm of her hand. I reached for my tea and brought it to my lips. "She can just tell my dad I guess." She reached for her mug and took a big hasty sip of it. Her face was solemn and contemplative… she turned and looked at me for a moment before turning her gaze at the sliding glass door to her porch. "Hey…Sasuke…"

I watched as she bit her lower lip and furrowed her brows, looking for the right words.

"I'm not trying to say that I'm jealous that you don't have parents, but…" she looked down at her hands and started to pick at her fingernails, "Sometimes I wish mine were…better. Moving out was the best decision I ever made. And I love them I do…but…Nothing is ever good enough for my mother. **I'm** not even good enough for her all she does is point out my mistakes. She is controlling and spiteful and it drove my dad away. And my dad is an idiot who doesn't even know how to talk to me since I surpassed him and mom. He started acting weird, feeling unfulfilled or regretful…or ashamed. I don't know. He drinks his weight in liquor and loses his money on karaoke girls and maid cafe's. _As if thats going to earn him any respect…_ " She took another big sip of her tea, "I'm sorry I'm rambling on and on about my family issues I know its not my place…"

"It's alright." I said. Her stories felt so far away. She held her mug close to her lips and sat in thought for a moment.

" _You need to listen more. Set aside your emotions and listen to someone else for once." Juugo said. "Everyone carries pain with them, even if you don't understand it. Even if you think that your pain is worse. They are still feeling it." He looked over at Karin who was crying behind a pillar across the training coliseum. Juugo and I stood on the balcony above as we watch the aftermath of the battle unfold._

 _Orochimaru had made her heal one of his prized experiments after he went into berserker mode. He was not gentle with her._

 _Karin healed herself and walked away with her head down, shaking with each step._

" _Her pain isn't the same as yours. But it is still pain."_

"What happened to your arm?" I asked instead, shaking the memory off. Her right hand moved to trace the scars under her sleeve. She looked lost in memory as she ran her fingers down the jagged keloid scar it left behind.

"When Naruto was training to control the Kyuubi's chakra with Yamato-taichou, we ran into Kabuto and Orochimaru." She set her mug down and shifted herself so that her left arm was towards me. Lifting up the sleeve to her shoulder I could see three parallel lines that looked like burn scars up close. The skin was dark and raised.

"Naruto could only get to three chakra tails while maintaining control but this time he slipped into a fourth tail release," she let go of the sleeve and sighed, "He was terrifying…It wasn't even Naruto anymore it was just this primal untethered chakra running around with Naruto's body as it's anchor. He didn't even remember striking me with one of the tails. I was sent backwards from the impact and landed at Kabuto's feet. He actually healed it for me…" she leaned her head back, "It feels like a lifetime ago…"

Sakura began to get up from the couch and clear our mugs from the table. I watched her hair fall into her face as she got up and leaned over. "I'm going to go to bed, Sasuke-kun." She placed the dishes in the sink and smiled over at me. "Oyasumi."

"Good night." I said. Sakura walked over to her bedroom door and closed it softly behind her. I guess I'm brushing my teeth in the sink then.

I got up from the couch and made my bed for the night, grabbing the pillows and blankets from the end table from last night and spreading it across the couch. It wasn't terribly uncomfortable, but it was a little stiff.

I pulled a new pair of sweatpants from one of our shopping bags. Sakura advised me on buying them during our errand running so I could have something clean to wear while I wash my other clothes. They were comfortable. I decided to forego the shirt and walked over to the sink with my toothbrush in hand. No sooner did I put the toothpaste covered brush in my mouth did Sakura open her door frantically.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I forgot to ask you if you wanted to shower and stuff before bed I just- I'm not used to having you here and- shit! I'm so sorry!"

She covered her eyes and walked back into her room, leaving the door open.

I finished brushing my teeth and walked over. Sakura was laying on her back with her hands over her eyes and blushing furiously.

"Sakura," I said her name slowly. She lifted her hands to look over at me, a deep red blush on her cheeks as she looked over at me. I gazed down at her on the bed and watched a strand of hair fall over her cheek as she turned her neck.

"Do you want to train tomorrow?"

—

End Chapter 2

Thanks so much for all the likes so far! I"m overwhelmed and excited to continue this story.


	3. Chapter 3

Oneiropherenia C3-Training

—-

Sakura Haruno

—-

We arrived at the training grounds at 5:00am, the sky was still dark but the stars have dispersed with the approaching sunrise. The walk was silent and the static of anticipation was making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

I was excited.

Sasuke is skilled but I haven't really experienced it one on one. He always trained with Naruto or Kakashi. I had a slight advantage as Sasuke hasn't fought me yet. I just hoped my training helps me keep up.

"Taijutsu only." Sasuke said, placing his katana gently against one of the posts. "I don't want to attract too much attention...or cause too much damage."

I undid my hip holster and threw it on the ground next to Sasuke's sword. Grabbing my left wrist with my right hand I stretched up and pulled my shoulders back to warm up a little. "Fine by me," I said.

We walked out into the middle of the field and stood across from each other. Sasuke's cape rustled in the wind. His hair fluttering over his rinnegan eye.

"I won't use it." He said.

"Don't hold back." I challenged. We bowed to each other and jumped back.

Sasuke flash stepped behind me, and I ducked with a low spinning kick. He dodged and landed face to face with me. With only one arm, Sasuke relies more on kicking attacks. I dodged.

I dodged again and again and again, dancing around his kicking pattern always just a hair out of reach. He chased me, never giving me an opportunity to parry.

Finally I caught his ankle with the top of my foot and tripped up his balance just enough to give me an opening. I threw a punch and he blocked it with his forearm and backed away.

"My turn." I charged toward him and threw hit after hit. He blocked all of them with precision and I felt his hand catch my wrist and tried to redirect it. I rolled out of the grip and he let go.

"You move like Lee." He said backing up into a fighting stance once more.

"Lee-san was kind enough to teach me a few things over the years," I said, readjusting my gloves before resuming the fight. "I've learned a lot more than Taijutsu too," I winked and charged at him again.

We traded punches and kicks until the sun rose but neither of us landed anything. It felt like dancing with him. I was trained to dodge rapid fire attacks with precision, stepping always just out of the way and using my footwork to gain an advantage. Sasuke on the other hand had years of stored knowledge from different fights, so he could change his fighting style with the turn of his wrist.

Sasuke was at a disadvantage with Taijutsu having only one hand to punch and guard but he didn't let that slow him down at all. You can tell that over the years away he didn't slack off just because of his injury, he just adapted.

I started to get angry. I wanted to hit him. I needed to land at least one punch. Purely out of a personal sense of pride, I wanted him to feel fear for just a moment...

I started coming at him not inconsistently, feinting and trying to trip him up with a few half-punches. Finally I managed to land one swift punch to his abdomen and I sent him flying backwards. I could hear the breath get knocked out of his lungs on the impact. His feet dragging across the dirt as he skidded to a stop.

"Ichi," I said smiling, my breath heaving with fatigue. Sasuke spit the blood from his mouth and charged at me, flash stepping behind me at the last second. I turned to block but he redirected the guard and flipped me over so fast I didn't see the ground until my cheek was resting in the grass. He had my right arm twisted behind my back and I felt his weight pressing my body down in a hold, his left knee pressed against my left elbow, pinning me to the field.

"Ichi." I felt his breath move the hair on the back of my neck. "Get out of it."

I smirked and concentrated my chakra to the little diamond on my forehead.

Then I slammed my face into the dirt.

The ground shook with a tremor and the trees tumbled and rustled with the moving earth. I felt his grip loosen and seized my moment to wrench my hand free. I sent an elbow into his ribcage and took off running.

"Ni!" I shouted as I ran, the exhilaration of my success racing through my veins as I picked up speed.

Sasuke bent over with the impact, but ran after me not long after. I jumped through the trees, trying to lose him in the branches. I could hear his steps echoing mine through the trees. I debating using a jutsu or a weapon but that would be cheating. Thankfully, chakra control doesn't count.

And that's my specialty.

I jumped to a tree on my left and used a branch to swing myself upwards. I watched Sasuke sprint past me and then dropped down to the forest floor with a satisfied smirk when suddenly my back hit the rough tree bark and I felt the wind escape my lungs with the impact. Sasuke pressed his body up against mine with a decent amount of force and held me there, both of us breathing heavily.

"Ni. Get out of it," He said again.

His voice was low and threatening but it sent shivers down my spine. _I must be sadistic_. His threat made a rebellious fire burn inside of me, I wanted nothing more than to prove him wrong.

I tucked my chin and rolled against his body but he grabbed the back of my shirt and spun me. I used the momentum to land a kick to his side and he blocked the impact with his thigh but he let go.

Sasuke charged towards me again, his right arm poised to strike. I dodged and switched up my approach. I dragged my hand softly around his outstretched fist, placing my hand right where I needed to be to lock his shoulder and flip him over. We hit the ground hard, my knees scraping on the exposed tree roots that lifted in the earthquake I caused. I sat down on his chest and used my thighs to squeeze his shoulders together.

I couldn't help but feel myself grin triumphantly. I brushed the hair from out of his face and looked at the rinnegan underneath. It's purpleish hue reflected the now blue sky above. I could see where the color around his iris was more saturated. Where the whites of his eye should be instead there was a cloudiness with the black tome slowly spinning with the shimmer of fresh ink that chakra seals have. These eyes have a life of their own, in a way. Sasuke stayed still underneath me and watched as I observed all the details.

"Does it scare you?" He asked softly. I adjusted my focus and looked at his face. He was so hard to read but the softness of his question and the lack of tension in his eyebrows told me he was asking me honestly.

I brushed the hair further out of his face and just said "No." I didn't even have to think twice about it.

Without warning, he grabbed my wrist and used his legs to flip me over onto my back. The air got knocked out of my lungs with the impact on the hard floor and his face leaned in closely to my left ear.

"It should," He said softly, "It scares me."

He pulled back just far enough to look at me, tome spinning hypnotically.

"Get out of it."

—-

I sat on the floor of my shower, pulling the leaves from my hair and healing all the little scrapes and cuts that I could find.

My hands traced up my legs with healing chakra and smoothed the skin over until there wasn't a scab to be seen.

I pressed my back up against the cold tile and let the water run over my face in a hot stream that trickled off of my eyelashes.

 _"Get out of it."_

His voice echoed in my left ear. I remember how close his face came to mine. How his breath felt against my cheek.

The water trickled over my lips in a gentle caress and I imagined Sasuke running his finger across my lower lip...

I ran my fingers through my wet hair and let out and annoying groan as I leaned my head back against the wall. The latter part didn't really happen but I couldn't help but wish that for a second that he had leaned in and I could kiss him just once just to know what I felt like.

The water trickled down my face,along my lower lip and I closed my eyes, imagining it play out like a dream I've had a thousand times. The hot water stung my raw skin a little bit but it felt so purifying in a way that made me savor it a little longer than usual. This would probably be my last good shower for the next few weeks. Sasuke and I were traveling on foot to most of our destinations; places that he deemed controlled enough environments to engage in any enemy ambushes should our dimensional travel invite back some unwanted guests. He wanted as much space from the threat and innocent lives as possible. Sasuke was strong enough to handle most things on his own. _And smart enough in a fight. He knows when to run and regroup instead of needlessly putting his life on the line for a gamble of faith._

He said he had some errands to run before we leave tomorrow morning at dawn. I set aside my slight pang of abandonment..I chalked it up to PTSD and told him to just let himself into the apartment when he was done. If I'm not home and the door is locked then I would put my key under the mat.

I haven't quite got the hang of trusting him completely.

There are days where it is harder than others.

I can't control the ache in my chest when he leaves, and lately all I've done is miss him for years. It'll take a while before I've adjusted to his constant presence.

I touched the scars on my arm and remembered how curious Sasuke was behind their origins. The look in his eye as he examined it was calculating but concerned. I kept it to remind myself to take Naruto seriously. He was a force to be reckoned with if I've ever seen one, both in spirit and in strength.

When we were younger I always thought he was nothing but an overly optimistic fuckup but as an adult I can truly respect the sacrifices he made and the effort he put in to be the absolute best person he could possibly be. He was an optimistic hurricane of a human being and I loved him to death for it. I've just made it my personal mission to make sure to keep him humble. I smiled. What a dork.

I turned my attention to the scar on my abdomen and traced the thick white keloid. There was an identical one on my back from the exit wound. This one I kept mostly as a trophy, in a morbid kind of way. I could've healed this right after I got it if I wanted to, but I never did. I don't think the thought was crossing my mind at that moment; that getting rid of it was an option.

Every time I looked down at it I am reminded of the sacrifice that Chiyo made for me, and the sacrifice she made for Gaara. He and I will occasionally run into each other on my trips to Suna, visiting her grave whenever I'm in town. Sometimes we go and get tea together and discuss things other than hospital politics. Mostly Gaara will ask genuine questions about my friends in Konoha.

He even asked me out once, I laughed when I remember the embarrassed look on his face. It took him a lot of courage to do something like that. I remember wanting to say yes, but all I could think of was Sasuke's face and I knew that I needed to say no. I couldn't give him my whole heart and he deserved someone who could. He was very courteous and polite about the whole thing, telling me that he respects the honesty and is content with just being my friend, which I well and truly appreciate.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

The door of my bathroom rattled with the incessant pounding. I yelped at the sudden interruption from my daydreaming.

"SAKURA-CHAN!" I could hear Naruto wail through the walls. I got up off the floor and turned off the shower, now instead of relaxed I was annoyed.

I quickly wrapped myself in a towel and charged my fist with chakra as I ripped open the door.

And took a Naruto sized fist to the forehead.

The next few moments felt freeze frames from a movie; me, standing in the doorway of my bathroom, wrapped in a towel. Naruto, with his balled up fist pressed against my forehead, and the slow shock and realization of the consequences of his action dawning on his now terrified face.

"What. Do you want." I said through gritted teeth, clinging to the terry cloth to remind myself why I shouldn't reach out and grab his throat.

He pulled his hand back and stuttered out an apology before pointing to Sasuke laying on my couch with a rasengan swirl shaped bruise peeking through the torn fabric in his right leg.

He must've held back for the spar, but still got him pretty good.

I shove Naruto out of my bedroom door and quickly put on a pair of underwear and a T-shirt before running out to the living room with my med kit.

These types of visits were normal, typical over exertion in a friendly fight and not wanting to deal with the regular hospital routine checkup.

I got on my knees and took my medical shears out of my kit to open up the fabric around the wound. It looked pretty bad, a swirl pattern covered in purple and green and yellows, like a nebula. Some of the flesh was torn and pulled raw and covered in dirt from the fields. I was going to have to disinfect it.

Sasuke sat in pained silence and let me work while Naruto dig through my kitchen for a snack.

"Naruto!" I barked. "While you're snooping around in my kitchen could you grab the bottle of vodka from the freezer please?"

I pulled out a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and opened a fresh towel from a sterile package. I looked up at Sasuke who was looking at his leg intently.

"I don't drink." He deadpanned. "Just go through with it." He didn't look me in the eyes just stared at the wound with a look of panicked determination.

Naruto walked over, bottle of vodka in hand and stood behind Sasuke on the couch.

"Shit. Teme, my bad," he said cringing at the sight of his leg.

"Shut up, dobe." Sasuke gritted through his teeth but the insult did nothing but bring a smile to Naruto's face.

"Alright Sasuke. This is going to sting a little." I held the cloth in my right hand and waited for him to nod, and pressed it into his thigh.

—

Sasuke Uchiha

—

The pain that shot through my leg was excruciating. Like ice cold blades tearing my skin open again and again. Sakura hand came up to my chest and pushed my body back onto the couch as I lunged forward, groaning in agony.

I opened my eyes to see Naruto's outstretched hand holding the frosted bottle near my face. I caved into the pain and grabbed it from him, twisting the corked top off with my teeth and taking a swig of it hoping that the burning sensation in my throat would distract me from my leg.

It went down surprisingly smoothly, ice cold and virtually as tasteless as water.

I took another drink.

Sakura finished disinfecting the wound and tossed the towel aside. Her hands began to glow green. "Hold on tightly to that bottle," she said, "It'll feel worse before it feels better."

I gripped the neck of the glass bottle and readied myself for the pain again. This time instead of the cold peroxide Sakura's chakra was hot and the cuts on my leg started to hiss as they healed.

And then the twisting began.

Sakuras hands kneaded chakra in a reverse spiral from the rasengan, pulling and stretching my skin back into its original spot. The pain was searing hot and Naruto grabbed my shoulders to hold me steady while she worked.

I stifled a scream and took another swig from the bottle and finally the pain began to subside.

I looked down at Sakura's hands, attentively going over every cut and bruise and regenerating the cells delicately and precisely. I can't tell if the pain was making my vision hazy or if it was the alcohol but watching her work gave me an anchor to focus on. Her eyes were soft but focused, relaxed and confident. Clearly she's done this many times before, this type of healing came naturally to her. I felt the alcohol warmth wash over me and the pain began to subside.

I watched as the skin softened back into one cohesive body part. The bruise had subsided from a dark purple to a softer color underneath a fresh layer of healed skin. Sakura's chakra dimmed and faded as she exhaled. My body relaxed with the ebb of her chakra leaving behind a chill in my healed thigh.

"That should do it," she said and smiled up at me. She stood up from her kneeled position and stretched her arms above her head. Her T-shirt lifting again to show the barest hint of a large scar on her stomach. _Directly opposite the scar I saw on her back._

She should've died from an injury like that. I wonder just how skilled of a medic she really was. The injury on my leg must've been child's play to someone with the kind of skill that can stop internal bleeding on a wound that goes through your internal organs.

I made a mental note to ask her about that one too.

Naruto released his grip on my shoulders and reached for the bottle gripped in my hand but I decided if I had to deal with him any longer one more drink couldn't hurt.

I pulled it away from his outstretched hand and took a final drink before shoving it into his hands and getting up off the couch.

"Oy, asshole!"

Out of my periphery, I spotted something being tossed in my direction. I caught a small white jar, with a diameter no bigger than a coin.

"Put that on the bruise for the next couple of days, your cells are freshly regenerated and delicate. This will help protect you from infection and will moisturize the new skin so it doesn't dry out and slow the healing process." Sakura put a kettle on the stove and started the gas flame. "Naruto!" She barked. The dobe immediately stood at attention and stiffened up.

Sakura put her hands on her hips and glared. "Rasengan? Really? The day before we leave on a mission? What the fuck were you thinking!" She threw an apple at his head and Naruto ducked.

"I'm sorry! We just got into it you know?!"

Another apple.

"Sakura come on!"

She continued to throw produce at the idiot, and my eyes started to wander to her toned legs, flexing as she turned on the tile floor.

"I pulled it! I pulled the hit!" He said defensively, arms covering his face for protection. Sakura fumed and began scolding him.

"You know the rules, I'm done treating your injuries for free." She held out her hand, "How are you gonna make it up to me this time, hmm?"

"But you didn't heal me you healed Sasuke!" He whined.

"You're the reason he was hurt at all, why didn't you just take him to the hospital? I'm technically off-duty." Her arms crossed her chest and she continued to glare at the idiot.

"Can I pay you back with dinner? Hinata invited you guys over tonight before you leave!"

Sakura's face looked taken aback with surprise and then lit up into a huge smile.

"That sounds wonderful!" Sakura beamed. "Sasukes first family dinner! I mean-" she stammered, and looked embarrassed as she looked over at me when she said the word "family".

It felt so strange to hear her say that word about us...about me and them. They've become a family, and they consider me a part of it.

"Yeah! Hinata is making some fancy pork dish and Sasuke can see our house!" He said, looking at me with an eagerness I can only describe as instantly exhausting.

He's been talking about his marriage and his house and his wife all afternoon. Bragging about his accomplishments and filling me in on things he said he couldn't wait to rub it in my face. He didn't ask me about my travels the entire day, it was actually a great one sided conversation I didn't have to put effort into.

"Hey, bastard. Are you in or what?" Naruto barked over at me.

The alcohol in my system was making me feel uncharacteristically sociable. How bad could it be?

"Dinner sounds nice." I said. Sakura jumped a little with excitement. It was really...cute.

"Alright! Yes! Let me get dressed first!" Sakura clapped her hands together and suddenly I became very hyper aware of what she was wearing and could feel heat begin to pool in my cheeks. I turned away and pretended to distract myself with one of Sakura's books while she ran into the bedroom to change.

—

End- C3

Sorry for the delay you guys! New job keeps me busy. Hopefully with the holidays I'll have a little more free time to explore this story.

Your likes and comments and asks mean the world to me 3


	4. Chapter 4

Oneiropherenia C4

—

 **Sasuke Uchiha**

—

Naruto had every right to brag about his house, it was very impressive. It was brand new, modern architecture with a very refined classic look. At first glance I couldn't fathom how they afforded a house so big but I had forgotten he married the Hyuuga princess. No doubt a sizable portion of the property was paid off by her family.

Hinata greeted us at the door, her dark, pin straight hair perfectly contrasting Naruto's wild blonde.

"I'm so glad you made it!" She said smiling. "Sasuke-kun, welcome to our home," she bowed politely. I lowered my head in a small bow back.

Naruto jumped up the stairs into the foyer and kissed Hinata on the cheek before tossing his shoes onto the bench by the door. "Come on in guys! I'll get some sake ready! I still have the fancy bottle Tsunade Obaa-chan gave us for our wedding!"

Sakura and I followed him into the house, with Sakura offering to help Hinata in the kitchen. I followed them to the living room area which was much more spacious than I anticipated. Definitely Hyuuga money.

The back of the house sat on a hill just high enough to see a view of the Hokage monument on the mountain. Kakashi's face carved stoic and protective next to the others. It was strange, thinking about my teacher as Hokage. Kakashi never really struck me as the type.

He seemed to be doing alright, though. Despite all the chaos and the recent ANBU captain being exposed for illegal drugs and treason.

I pushed the thought aside and tried to focus on the scene in the kitchen instead. Hinata was mixing up some kind of sauce in a pan while Sakura chopped up the vegetables and put them in a colander beside the sink. I watched her rinse everything, smiling and chatting with Hinata about how her clinic was doing. Naruto pulled a large fancy bottle of sake out from the very top shelf and began to set up the water to boil.

Then a knock came at the door.

"Ah! Sai's here!" Naruto exclaimed and ran to the door.

"Oh look you remembered to answer the door this time." I heard a male voice say sarcastically.

"Shut up, asshole." Naruto groaned, "Hey, Ino!"

Oh no...

Yamanaka Ino?

I just had a flashback from the ninja academy of her pressing herself against me way too often. She's with Sai? How the hell did that happen? So many questions raced through my mind before I caught Sakura's panicked expression a couple seconds before she shifted it into a polite excitement.

"Ino! It's so good to see you!" She rinsed off her hands in the sink and ran to hug the blonde. Ino bounced into the room, blonde hair practically dragging on the floor and Sai came walking around the corner with Naruto right behind him.

"Oh! Sasuke-kun is here." He said.

It's so weird that he says my name like that. But at the mention of it, Ino whips her hair around and goes "Ehh?! Sasuke-kun you're here?!" She ran over and I prepared myself for the inevitable embrace. Her arms squeezed around me and I just stayed still and all I could do was hope it would end soon.

"It's been forever you jerk! You look so good it's unfair!"

Naruto was losing it in the background, sticking his tongue out at Sakura. Reading her lips I saw her Sakura whispering "Why did you invite them?" Naruto shrugs and whispers "Sai is family too." Sakura turns her head to look at Ino who thankfully has let go at this point.

"I can't believe you haven't stopped by to say hi or anything, where have you been hiding hmm?" She said coyly. Her blonde hair brushed my arm as she turned towards the kitchen.

"Is Kakashi-sensei gonna show up too?" She asked Sakura, who just shrugged and said "If he does he'll be characteristically late at usual" and went back to chopping up the veggies. Ino just laughed and grabbed Sai's hand as she led him to the loveseat on the other side of the coffee table.

"In the meantime," Naruto said eagerly, "We have sake and a comfy couch!" He set down a small ceramic cup in front of each of us and poured. He lifted his cup in the air and looked over at Sakura and Hinata who already had cups in their hands.

"Alright I wanna make a toast!" He said grinning ear to ear. I grabbed my cup and Ino got extra excited, handing a cup to Sai before picking the last one up for herself.

"Sasuke and Sakura are leaving tomorrow on a mission without me!" He began, pouting, "I hope you guys have a boring time and find nothing interesting and-OW!" A wooden spoon bounced off his skull and landed on the floor. I didn't even need to look over to know where that came from.

Ino chimes in, "What?! You're leaving and you didn't tell me?!"

Sakura raises her glass in the air and took over the toast, "To getting out of the village for once!" And downed the whole glass of sake in one go. The rest of us raised our glasses and took a drink.

Ino just casually sipped her sake and cuddled up with Sai, practically sitting in his lap at that point. Naruto refilled our glasses and sat down next to me.

"Sasuke hows staying at Sakura-Chan's place been?" He asked casually. I noticed Ino suddenly turn her attention towards our conversation, but she pretended to still be engrossed in Sai's shoulder.

"It's been fine. The couch is comfortable."

This is really a conversation I'd rather not be having right now.

Sakura walked over and took the bottle of Sake from the table and refilled her glass herself.

"Hey! It's rude to help yourself!" Naruto teased.

"Shove it, you refilled everyone else's." She clinked the bottle against his skull before setting it back down onto the coffee table and taking a seat on the arm rest of the couch next to me. Her feet still planted on the floor, not quite committing to sitting down.

Ino chimed in, "Sakura I hear Sasuke-kun is staying at your apartment, hmm?"

Sakura visibly stiffened and forced a smile.

"Yeah, well, he was only going to be in town for a few days anyway. No point in wasting money on a hotel." She lifted the glass to her lips.

"Aah, of course!" Ino said coyly, "Anything else you're hiding from me Sa-Ku-Ra? " she teased.

Sakura looked unfazed, sipping her sake.

"Why are you so nosy, Ino-buta-chan?"

"Dinner is ready!" Came Hinata's voice from the kitchen.

"Oy!" Ino stuck her tongue out. "You and I will be talking later," she said, her voice low and slightly threatening.

Sakura just sighed as we all got up from the couch to sit at the table.

Naruto grabbed my shoulder as I stood up. He clinked his sake cup against mine and just whispered "Don't fuck things up with her." Before leading me to the dinner table.

Naruto took a seat next to Hinata, sitting at the head of the table. Ino sat next to Hinata with Sai sitting the the other end of the table opposite Naruto. Sakura grabber the seat across from Ino and next to Sai while I took the final spot in between her and Naruto.

Naruto grinned from ear to ear as he looked around at his guests and said,

"Itadakimasu!"

—

 **Sakura Haruno**

—

Dinner was delicious, empty dishes scattered the table and the chatter had started to slowly return to fill the space left after everyone's chopsticks were laid to rest on their plates.

"How's your leg?" I whispered over to Sasuke.

He just acknowledged me with his eyes, but didn't fully turn his head. A very Sasuke move.

"Still a little sore but," he lifted his same glass, "this is helping." He said as he took a sip.

I couldn't help but giggle a little bit. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?"

"Oh I've just never seen you drink is all. You look very relaxed." I said.

Sasuke just made a short tsk sound with an exhale and bumped his knee into mine under the table as he took a sip of sake. I hit his knee back playfully with mine before getting embarrassed and reached for my own sake glass.

I blushed and turned my attention towards Naruto who was helping Hinata clear the dishes from the table. Everyone started to get up and clear their plates to help.

"I invited Konohamaru but he said he didn't wanna babysit a bunch of drunk adults" Naruto said, picking up Ino's barely touched plate.

"Maybe you should pace yourself more?" Hinata suggested. Naruto just laughed.

"Nah, Kurama makes it difficult to feel the alcohol, plus I'm at home! I can pass out here if I wanna" he said, pulling out a bottle of red wine from the pantry.

"Whose with me?"

Ino excitedly raised her hand and I followed suit. I was gonna have to be drunk to handle her prying anyway. Sai followed with Ino's lifting of his arm in the air.

"Sasuke-teme I'm pouring you a glass too!" He said pouring the wine glass VERY full. Hinata brought out the glasses to Ino and Sai first and then Naruto brought ones for Sasuke and I.

"Naruto we have a mission tomorrow," Sasuke said, his hand resting on his forehead in exasperation.

"Just fucking drink it you asshole." He said teasingly. "See? Sakura-Chan can handle her liquor better than even Tsunade! I can never tell when you're drunk"

I took a sip and tried to be coy, "Good, that's how I like it." The wine was good, dry and not too sweet. A merlot, maybe? Sasuke should be able to tolerate it. I looked over and was surprised to see him looking straight at me.

We held each other's gaze for just a moment before Naruto shoved a glass full of wine at Sasuke, who took it without much persuading. He met my gaze for another moment and I raise my eyebrow at him and gave him a look.

 _Pick your battles, Sasuke_.

He took a sip and didn't break eye contact with me.

Suddenly a hand grabbed my elbow and pulled me to another room. A flash of a blonde ponytail rounded another corner and I heard the soft 'click' of a door closing behind us.

"Alright, forehead. Spill. He's sleeping at your fucking _apartment_?!" She hissed, audibly pissed at having this valuable gossip withheld. "I'm genuinely offended you didn't tell me immediately. Does he sleep in only his boxers? Does he snore?"

"Ino it's not like that he's just staying on the couch," I offered.

"Does he speak?" She asked, bewildered. "Does he actually consume food anymore or does he suck all the chakra from a room like a vampire for sustenance," she joked. I laughed. At this point I could tell that Ino was totally drunk. I could smell it on her breath but I could also hear it in her banter. She can be pretty hilarious when she's wasted.

"Ino we just had dinner with him, I don't think he's a vampire." I said, taking a sip of the wine that thankfully survived the trip down the hallway.

I looked around and it seemed like we ended up inside of a spare room, filled with boxes that had yet to be unpacked from their move.

I pushed past Ino and looked around at the random things strewn about the room.

"Come on, girl you gotta give me something," she begged. "Has He said anything to you? Does he talk in his sleep?" She asked.

"He does look damn good coming out of the shower," I offered, stocking my tongue out at her. I thought back to our training session this morning and felt the head rise to my cheeks. " _Get out of it._ " Rang in my ears like an echo. I decided to keep that to myself.

She groaned and pouted, "I don't fucking doubt it, that man is shredded. And massive! When did he get so tall? And his shoulders are so broad; it's gotta be the kenjutsu. One handed sword wielding? Slay me." She said grabbing a seat on a box marked "Naruto's Living Room".

"So tell me, what's your game plan? What lingerie are you bringing with you? Are you going to sleep with him?"

"Woah there, Ino. This is a mission, not a honeymoon. Besides, I have no idea what he wants. I'm just going to figure it out as we go," I sighed. "He isn't exactly straightforward about his feelings. I'm trying to learn how to understand him all over again."

"You've always had a knack for understanding his weird pseudo-language. You're the only person I know who can make him look predictable." Ino touched her wine glass to mine in a toast and took a sip. "If he wants you, Make him work for it. You've already done the waiting."

I laughed at her bluntness. "This mission is gonna be interesting," I smiled.

—

 **Sasuke Uchiha**

—

Naruto pulled a tipsy Hinata into his lap and kissed her on the cheek. She giggled and blushed but never broke eye contact with him. Naruto had the biggest grin on his face and I saw him mouth the words "I love you".

I felt like I was intruding on something private, watching those two.

They were so in love.

I heard giggling and turned my head towards the hallway to see Ino and Sakura walking around the corner. They have been away for quite a while.

Sakura's cheeks were flushed and she was smiling and hugging her friend around her waist.

"Are you going to tell her you love her?" Sai deadpanned.

I nearly spit out my wine.

Naruto howled with laugher. "Yeah teme, just tell her already." Hinata jumped off his lap and ran towards the girls with the premise of needing help with dessert.

 _Interception_.

Nice teamwork.

Ino and Sakura more than happily jumped to help her in the kitchen and left the three of us alone to talk.

"I say you should just kiss her."

"Really? Ino says he should shove Sakura onto a hotel mattress..."

"You are both idiots." I said.

"Oh come _on_ , Sasuke." Naruto rolled his eyes in exasperation. "You two are going to be alone together every night. I can feel your sexual tension from here."

"He's right. You guys stand weirdly close together. But never touching. It's very strange"

"Sai, what the fuck are you talking about..." Naruto shook his head and poured himself another glass.

"Well," he started,"You guys stand next to each other very closely. Like just a hairsbreadth away from touching. When you sat down for food you sat _just_ far away enough not to bump elbows or knees but you kept muttering under your breath to each other during other conversations at the table. And when Sakura came over here and sat next to you on the arm of the couch instead of in the open seat next to mine."

Were we really standing that close together?

"Holy shit you're right." Naruto said, impressed with the logic. "Let me guess, you don't want to make the first move. You're hoping she does, because that would make it easier. Right?"

...Since when was Naruto that perceptive?

"Look, you're both my best friends. But I have dealt with Sakura for a lot longer than you have. And I'm gonna tell you right now, she's not going to be making any moves. Her 'move' was to ask you to go with her. It's your move, buddy."

"Ah, like chess? Is that how it is normally?" Sai asked.

"I don't know how to play chess..." Naruto said scratching his head.

"Ino just tells me what she wants me to do, like she'll say "you should kiss me" or "you should hold my hand" and then I just do what she says."

"You two are perfect for each other." I said jokingly, taking another sip of wine.

The girls started to walk back towards the living room and Naruto goes "Just kiss her" under his breath as he gets up from the chair to pull Hinata into his lap again.

Ino went over to Sai and kissed him on the cheek before taking a seat next to him and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Sakura took the spot on the armrest of the couch again and clinked her almost empty wine glass against mine.

"You ready to go?" She asked.

I thought she'd never ask.

—

The walk home felt a little warped, the alcohol in my system was definitely making my perspective skewed. I felt like time was moving faster with every step I took. Like I was crossing distances without much grasp on the passage of time.

Sakura was always next to me. Every time I could grasp my focus I would be sure to focus on her, so I would make sure I was headed in the right direction.

She let me through the door and I felt her arms wrap around my waist.

"Sasuke? Sasuke are you ok?" I heard her say. Her voice felt like it was underwater as my knees weakened underneath me. I felt her catch me with worry and promptly blacked out.

—

 _Sakura_ ….

I opened my eyes to see her silhouette stand up from the side of the bed and begin to walk away from me towards the door. I felt trapped under the blankets and the room still felt tilted.

I reach my arm out and grab her wrist before she turned around completely.

"Stay." I finally say out loud.

Sakura froze and I pulled her hand towards me.

"Please."

—

As always, Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Oneirophrenia C5

—-

 **Sakura Haruno**

—

Sasuke slowly walked through the door in my apartment, clearly completely drunk. He wasn't particularly a different person but he was ... slower. He didn't care what anyone did, he just rolled his eyes and smirked to himself for the most part.

"Here we are, safe and sound." I said to him as he sat down on the floor to take his shoes off.

"I'll get you some water," I offered.

As I walk through the kitchen I can hear him slowly stumbling through the living room. Then I heard a door open...

"Sasuke?" I peeked around the counter and saw my bedroom door slowly swinging open on its hinge.

I grabbed the glass of water and took it with me.

Sasuke had crawled into my bed and left his shirt laying on the floor.

"Well, I guess you're sleeping here tonight." I muttered to myself.

I set the glass of water on the bedside table and pulled a couple of aspirin from a cabinet in the bathroom.

Sasuke was half propped up on the headboard, the blanket covering just above his belly button.

He was so pretty.

His eyes were closed and his lips were parted gently as he drifted off to sleep. His chest rising and falling. It was mesmerizing, watching him sleep.

I snapped myself out of it and turned changing into a pair of pajama pants and a sports bra, I prepared to sleep on the couch.

Suddenly, Sasuke's hand reaches out and grabs my wrist before I can walk towards the door.

"Stay" he said, his voice raspy and tired. His hand completely wrapped around my wrist, but his grip was gentle. My heart jumped and I froze.

I looked down and met his eyes, one pitched black and the other hidden behind his bangs. He gently tugged my hand towards him and whispered, "Please."

I walked back to beside the bed and stood over him. I pushed the bangs out of his face and made sure not to look at the Rinnegan. I focused on the contours of his face instead.

"You're drunk, go to sleep." I whispered. My heart was pounding in my chest. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, don't worry."

Sasuke let go of my wrist and brought his hand up to my face, just barely touching my cheek with his fingertips. My voice caught in my throat for fear of saying the wrong thing.

His voice is barely a whisper. "Please stay."Our faces were so close to each other I could feel the warmth of his breath on my lips. I found myself nodding when his eyes met mine.

Sasuke gracefully moved back on the bed and lifted the blanket for me to get in. I pulled myself onto the mattress and found a comfortable place to lay down.

Sasuke's hand brushed against mine beneath the covers and a shock ran through my body.

God, what am I, 12? How can this boy still have this effect on me?

I've slept next to Sasuke plenty of times on forest floors as genin. But that was never alone.

As I close my eyes and try to relax I find the fingers of my left hand itch to find Sasuke's hand under the blankets. Nothing about this situation seemed real, I felt like I needed proof that I wasn't just having an alcohol induced fever dream...

I found it.

My knuckles gently brushed against his wrist and I pulled my hand away, startled. He was definitely here. I didn't move my hand very far, I kept it within an inch or so from his. Hoping maybe our hands will brush together once more, later. After we're both asleep.

No sooner did that thought pass through my brain did I feel Sasuke's knuckles graze mine and stay there. Time felt like it was slowing to a crawl as the air hung heavy with anticipation.

I took the first two fingers of my left hand and wrapped them around his.

The Unison sign.

He gave my fingers a light squeeze with his, and I could feel the callouses on his thumb as he dragged it across my knuckles with a featherlight touch.

We stayed like like that for so long I felt myself drifting to sleep. I reluctantly let go of Sasuke's hand and return to my normal side-sleeping position on my left arm.

Slipping in and out of consciousness I felt Sasuke shift in his sleep as well.

I could feel his breath on the bridge of my nose, soft and rhythmic. He lifted his arm up in the space between us and reclaimed my fingers in his as I slowly slipped into a dream.

—-

When I woke up, the bed was empty.

My arm reached out and found nothing but blankets. I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

"Good morning." I heard from behind me.

Sasuke stood in the doorway, dressed and packed for the road. I caught my breath again and looked out the window; the dawn had barely broken. We maybe slept for four hours last night.

"I'll make breakfast while you get ready." He offered, and without waiting for a response began to walk towards the kitchen.

I groggily ran my fingers through my greasy hair and took a final quick shower before hitting the road. Once I was dressed and double checked my backpack I brought all of my supplies out into the living room.

Sasuke had made omelettes, with lots of veggies. He poured the last of the orange juice into two glasses and set them down on the table.

"Thank you for cooking," I said. Still trying to towel-dry my hair. It smelled amazing.

"It's been a while since I used a stove. I hope it's ok." He said casually, bringing out the two plates.

It was delicious. Everything was cooked perfectly and there was a lot of different ingredients thrown in there. I assume he just used the last of the groceries before they went bad. I took a second huge bite and said "Oishii!"

I saw Sasuke's shoulders relax a little and was that a hint of a smile?

 _I wonder if I can make him smile._

A laugh would be a fucking accomplishment. A new personal mission maybe?

Sasuke and I ate our breakfast in contented silence, watching the sunlight begin to turn the sky a deep blue. I began to plot the strategy of my new goal, wondering what adult Sasuke's genuine laugh sounded like.

Finally, it was time to leave for the mission!

We grabbed our bags and double checked all the windows and doors. Locked away all of my cabinets and set my traps for the poor sucker who tried to break in while I was away.

As we walked, I recognized the bench.

It hit me like a train, the memory of that day. I thought about it every single day since when I was training. It's been a while since the last time I thought about it. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. If that memory haunted him the way it haunted me as a kid. Even a little bit.

That was the last time we were on this road alone together.

As we passed it I altered my stride to fall a little behind Sasuke, and dragged my fingertips across the stone armrest as I passed by. I silently apologized for holding onto that sadness for so many years.

Time for a new memory, where I'm walking by his side.

—

 **Sasuke Uchiha**

—

She thinks I didn't notice.

My chest ached at the memory of that night. I told myself over and over that it was the right thing to do at the time. I still think it was for the best.

I hope she understood what I meant that night. I hope she knew I did it to protect her.

That was the first time I told her.

The first time I told anyone.

The memory rushed back to me, knocking her out and catching her as she fell. Seeing the tears on her face.

 _I gently lowered her onto the bench and wiped the tears on her cheek._

 _She was so quiet, for once._

This stupid silly girl who consistently impressed me with her mind but needed to grow up a little more. Rely on herself more. She had always had others protecting her. Me included.

Naruto and I had to grow up a lot faster, unfortunately. I had this constant worry for her, I wanted to protect her but I also wanted her to grow. She had so much potential, even then.

I hoped she would grow from the pain of me leaving. I hoped that it made her stronger too _._

I felt so compelled to do it, out of spite for my brother. Wanting to prove that no matter what, I was never going to be as cold and cruel as he was. _I took my two fingers and gently poked Sakura in the forehead as she slept and whispered "Maybe next time." Before I walked when I had every intention of returning once I was finished..._

Sakura returned into step by my side after she touched the bench in a soft farewell and we continued on through the gates as the sun rose behind us.

 _She's grown a lot._

She held herself higher, didn't try to please others as much anymore. I think she grew exhausted of it. She's self motivated now, and self sufficient. And smarter than I will ever be.

"So," she said, "where to first?"

"Do you have anywhere you need to be in a hurry?" I asked.

"Hmm, I suppose not. Are you planning on taking me on the scenic route?" She stuck her tongue out at me cutely.

"I was thinking about it."

Her eyes got wide and curious. She opened her mouth as if to ask another question but opted instead to go with "Lead the way."

—

"I know this place, Ino and I stop here whenever we travel between the two mental health clinics." Sakura noted, amid familiar surroundings. More arid plants and terrain began to emerge on our path.

"There's a great camping spot nearby, next to a river. Plenty of fishing and lots of rock coverage."

I looked forward at how low the sun had gotten on the horizon. It was starting to get in my eyes as we continued west.

We were about 70km from Konoha, we covered quite a distance. Besides, we aren't in a hurry.

"Lead the way" I said back to her. She looked back and raised a sly eyebrow at me and I couldn't help the smirk that made it onto my face. She veered right and took us off the beaten path for a moment, heading towards a mountain side. The sound of rushing water filled the air. She slowed down and we walked along the edge of a steep trail for a half a kilometer or so, climbing to the next plateau.

Finally, we could see water.

The stream trickling down to the other side. We kept going.

Sakura found the spot she was looking for; an old tree growing through the side of the mountain, it's branches creating a natural ladder up the mountain side to a small lake. The water trickling down the mountain over a series of small waterfalls.

It was truly a beautiful place. She set her backpack down next to a fallen tree and leaned up against it for a moment to grab a drink of water.

"I didn't know about this place," I said honestly. I had traveled a lot of places over the years but there is so much to still see. Sakura smiled from her seat on the ground, pleased with herself. "Do you want to set up camp here?"

"Well yeah I mean the sun is going down so we should-"

"No, I mean for a few days. So we can get started on our mission." I clarified. "It's a good spot, isolated and has all the resources we need to survive for a couple of days."

"Oh!" She said, obviously surprised. "Of course! Yeah we can stay here." Sakura started to pull out her scrolls from her pack and prepared to set up camp.

I left to find firewood, exploring the area a little further. There was a lot of nice tree coverage and the lake seemed to be filled with freshwater fish. There was also the faint sound of birds earlier, so maybe there will be eggs we could find.

I came back with as much firewood as I could carry, a few logs tucked under my armpit by my left arm and the rest under my right. Sakura has already set up the tent and was collecting stones for our fire pit.

I decided to break the silence.

"How does your clinic work?"

This question took Sakura by surprise. She sat down on the ground and began to arrange the rocks she had gathered into their makeshift fire pit for the night.

"Umm well...it's kind of a long explanation" she said, her brows furrowed as she meticulously placed the stones one by one in a circle.

"We have time," I said, setting my armfuls of firewood down next to a sloped tree trunk and walked over to the log she was resting against earlier, setting up my seat for the night. I sat down and found a comfortable spot in the grass as I leaned into the rough bark. Sitting down felt nice.

I took a kunai from the pouch on my hip and began to open up the rations I had in my backpack and invited her to fill the silence.

Sakura pondered for a moment, her finger tapping her chin in consideration of her words."Well, your brain is an organ, just like others in the human body. And it can get sick or hurt the same way that your liver can be damaged from drinking or your lungs become weak from carcinogens from smoking," she said.

The fire pit she was building began to take shape as she placed the tinder under the logs. "Your brain produces chemicals that tell you how to feel, and when your brain gets sick or hurt it can affect the chemicals it makes." She brushed her hands off on her shorts and motioned for me to ignite the fire. After a couple quick hand signals and a controlled breath I released a small stream of fire at the pit. As soon as the logs started to crackle with the heat I released the jutsu and exhaled the last bit of heat and watched the embers grow to a steady flame.

I began to occupy myself with preparing our food, but looked at her with my full attention. Sakura blushed and continued on with her explanation.

"Your brain is in charge of releasing chemicals that tell you how to feel," she said. "For example, Dopamine tells you when to anticipate something. So, too much dopamine can lead to anxiety and panic. Which is good...sometimes. But not all the time. Sometimes someone's brain can become used to that feeling and it doesn't know when to stop. This makes people experience extreme paranoia in their everyday lives and it can be really hard to determine what is rational vs what is irrational... I'm sorry I know it's a lot of medical terminology I hope I'm not confusing you." Sakura backtracked and started to poke at the fire with a stick.

"Which chemicals affect depression?" I asked, bluntly. Sakura bit her lip and looked up at me and as her eyes locked with mine. I saw the fire reflected in them and I realized my hands had stopped moving. She suddenly stumbled over her words.

"They...uhh...umm..well there's...ah.." she blushed, her years of research suddenly evading her memory at the mention of the word that inspired her clinic in the first place. "I mean, I'm not really a mental health specialist I just created a space for them to work, it's fascinating for sure but..." she trailed off.

I decided to ask a different question instead.

"Can it heal adult minds as well as children's?"

She smiled softly at my question, "It takes time, but we've seen positive results with older patients. I've mostly only worked with ptsd patients...and even practiced therapies and treatments on myself since..." she trailed off. "Well it's easier to understand something firsthand anyway. It gives you a clearer perspective on all the positive and negative side effects."

My eyebrows furrowed a bit as I took in her words.

We are shinobi. The wars we fight and the battles we win are not pleasant experiences. There is always a sense of loss that comes with every victory. Wether it be mourning a comrade, or worried about another who had been seriously injured. As a Medic Nin, Sakura sees all of the aftermath and consequences of battle. A pregnant pause lingered between the two of us as we stared into the flickering campfire and listened to the singing of cicadas coming from the trees above. The air was humid but there was a nice breeze making the leaves rustle softly above their heads.

"Do you get headaches a lot?" She asked, changing the topic. I didn't even have to think twice, I nodded and gave her an "Aa" as a response as I resumed my task. I wrapped our rations in foil and tossed them into the coals.

"The Sharingan and the Rinnegan use a lot of concentrated chakra. I've just gotten used to it."

"I'm sorry," she said, walking over and taking a seat next to me. "If you'd like, I have some salve I developed for blood circulation to your face and eyes to relieve tension headaches." She dug inside of her bag and pulled out a small jar filled with a greenish-yellow paste.

I took the small jar in my hands and opened it. The smell of menthol and herbs I couldn't quite identify filled my nose.

"Put it on your temple in small circular motions, starting at the center and working your way out, it should help a little. There's also some chakra activated ingredients in there too," she rambled on.

I looked at the little jar in my hand and pushed it back towards her.

"Can you show me?"

Her cheeks flushed red as she nodded. She crossed her legs and faced me, suddenly her demeanor changed as she shifted into healing mode.

"Lay your head down in my lap, it'll be easier for me to do this."

—

Sakura Haruno

—

Sasuke looked a bit confused at first but relented and shifted his weight so he could lower himself onto the floor.

The sun had finally set and the only light we had was the fire and the stars.

I crossed my legs and he laid down on the ground, resting his head in my lap, neck on my ankles.

I took some of the salve in my finger tips and rubbed it between my hands to warm it up and activate the oils. Sasuke closed his eyes and I began to work.

I started on his temples, making small circles with the first two fingers, then I used my thumbs to massage right in front of his ears and down to his jaw, I could feel him relaxing more and more with each pathway I took. I went across his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the center point between his eyebrows and then back to the temples.

Sasuke's breath was slow and deliberate, "You're not using any chakra," he commented.

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable," I said. "Using healing chakra so close to your eyes..." I trailed off.

"I trust you."

I took a deep breath and began to focus. Sent a small amount of chakra from my heart, through my shoulders and arms and down to each fingertip.

Anytime I felt a chakra point I sent in a small pulse to slow the flow of chakra down. I felt his tension begin to release with every breath.

I watched his eyelashes flutter open and his lips part.

"I feel guilty." He said, looking up at me. He reached up and gently grabbed my right wrist, lacing his fingers into mine.

If I thought my heart was beating fast before, now it was practically vibrating.

"Why?" I managed to choke out. I broke eye contact and focused on his hair. I used my left hand to run my fingers through it. It was thick and coarse, and almost as long as mine.

"You're doing all the work," he said, his voice low.

I felt myself bite my lower lip but I couldn't stop it from happening. I quickly undid the action but Sasuke's eyes caught every microsecond of it. I tried to continue the banter and play it off anyway

"I'm sure you'll find some way to return the favor" I whispered chuckled a little. I smiled at my accomplishment.

I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

The sound of crickets chirping and distant frogs by the river filled the summer air. This was all I could've ever wanted.

Everything just felt like it _fit_.

 _My fingers interlaced with his._

 _His head in my lap._

Sasuke pulled my hand towards his lips and gently rested my hand against them.

I felt the air rush in through his nose in a deep sigh as he lowered his gaze.

"I missed you" he breathed.

And the wall came crashing down. I felt my bottom lip quiver and tried to cover my mouth with my left hand but I couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Sasuke got up from the ground and kneeled at my side. I collapsed into his arms and just cried while he held me. His arms wrapped around me fit just as perfectly as everything else.

I cried until I couldn't feel anymore tears fall. I was out of breath and shaking for air.

"I missed you too" I choked out through labored gasps. I started to laugh a little bit trying to diffuse the tension.

Sasuke still held onto me, tracing his thumb over the back of my hand I almost forgot he was holding the entire time.

I looked over at the fire, which was now just a bunch of smoldering coals. It was getting late.

"Let's call it a night," he said, standing up. He pulled my hand for me to come with him to the tent and I followed him around the fire pit.

As we crawled into our sleeping bags I rolled over so I was facing Sasuke to say goodnight.

He was much closer than I though he would be and as I rolled over we were suddenly just a few centimeters apart. The soft blue light from the moon just barely illuminating the side of his face. It was dark, and I could feel hairs breath on my face.

"I...uh.." I stammered, "Goodnight, Sasuke-kun," I said.

Sasuke leaned in and touched his forehead to mine.

"Oyasumi, Sakura."

—

Woo! This chapter was so much fun to write. I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! I love hearing feedback so feel free to shoot me a question or comment


	6. Chapter 6

Oneirophrenia C6

—

Sasuke Uchiha

—

She fell asleep so peacefully.

I remember when we used to go on missions as Team 7, Naruto would pass out snoring and sprawled out so falling asleep around him was always difficult.

But without the dobe taking over the space everything felt different.

Once her breathing evened out I opened my eyes. The moonlight filtered into the tent just enough to see her outline.

I tilted my head so the hair that was covering my left eye shifted and suddenly she was much brighter.

The Rinnegan, for all its cursed power, has allowed me to see a lot of things more clearly, in the literal sense.

Sakura's face was suddenly bathed in blue moonlight, her lips gently parted as she drifted off to sleep.

I watched her shoulders rise and fall with each breath and drew my eyes up to her forehead which was now glowing green as I could see her chakra being channeled there. It was a small trickle of movement, just the barest minimum of chakra flowing to her forehead at all times. It was impressive, really. She's been storing chakra a little bit every single day for years to achieve that reservoir. That control is so second Nature to her now that she can do it in her sleep too.

I watched her sleep for just a moment more before closing my eyes and drifting off myself.

—-

Sakura's chakra spiked rapidly and quickly. It felt like an electric shock waking me up from a deep sleep. Sakura sat bolted upright and panting for air.

I reached out to try and comfort her but she instinctively slapped my hand away. She quickly pulled her hand back after realizing what she had done and apologized. Her right arm was draped over her stomach, caressing it with her thumb as if to insure that she was still in tact.

"Gomen-ne, Sasuke-Kun. I didn't mean to wake you." She reaches into her bag and grabbed her water bottle and a small pill from her bag.

Before she could pop it into her mouth I grabbed her fist with my hand.

"What are you taking," I asked. I was too tired to beat around the bush.

"Daijoubu, it's just Melatonin. Good for going to sleep." I released her wrist and she popped the small pill in her mouth and took a swig of water to wash it down. She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath.

"Are you ok?"

She looked at me, surprised by the question. "A-ah.. I'm fine," she smiled softly.

I looked down at her hand still clutching the spot on her abdomen. She realized what I was looking at and released her grip on the spot.

"Misete."

Her eyes widened for a moment before lifting up her shirt to show a scar that was much bigger than I thought. It was about six inches or so long and was a thick keloid that looked hastily healed. I pulled the hair in front of my rinnegan out of my eyes and got a better look at it in the dark.

It looked aged and settled into her skin. This was a rather old scar.

"There's one on my back to match," she said, chuckling to herself and pulling her shirt back down.

She laid back down to go to sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about what kind of weapon made a scar that deadly, and how she could've possible survived the wound. The bleeding alone would've been fatal with a gash that size straight through her kidneys.

It seems Sakura has more demons that I realized.

I reached out once more...but her back was facing away from me this time. I let her withdraw and go back to sleep but now I was wide awake and all I could think about was someone putting their sword through her.

I thought about how I made her believe I had put a Chidori through her chest. I wondered if she woke up from nightmares about that too.

—-

She was gone.

I felt her absence before I even opened my eyes. The sunlight pouring into the tent was blinding. Once my eyes adjusted I saw her abandoned pillow, covered with a few pink hairs that caught the light.

I could feel her distant presence nearby, her chakra had a very unique quality to it. Sakura's chakra control had always been so precise that it ebbed with her breathing.

There was only one problem. Waking up I felt unnecessarily aroused by the thought of her. I furrowed my eyes in annoyance at the inconvenience. Either it will go away on its own or I'll be have to deal with it.

It's been more of a problem lately than it ever had before.

I felt dirty, after her nightmare last night. I shouldn't be thinking about that while she was suffering through ptsd. But this feeling in the pit of my stomach, that worry of protecting her at all costs was the only thing I could think of as I struggled to fall back asleep last night.

Sakura frequented my dreams in ways that haunted me. A different kind of ghost than Itachi's memories and a little more guilt and regret on my end. I wanted to pull her closer, to protect her.

I reached down and grabbed it, then immediately regretted it.

"Fuck."

I slammed my head back into my pillow. I hated dealing with this fucking problem. It was hard enough going to the bathroom in the morning.

I sat up and tried opening the door of the tent. When I got to the mesh screen I could see Sakura stretching at the other end of the campfire. Her face was relaxed and serene, with no signs of the panic she showed last night. Sakura knew that whatever bothered her was just a Dream...And I envy her for that.

"Ohayo Sasuke-kun!" She shouted as she bent at the waist with her hands and feet on the ground. Her hair was brushing the grass as her head hung upside down.

I watched as she changed into a plank position and lowered her body to the ground before she arched her back in an elongated pose.

Meanwhile I was at full attention. Watching her body move was mesmerizing. She was wearing a sports bra and shorts, her muscles moving slow and deliberate as she flowed from one pose into the next. Her abs were flexed and defined. Her legs were strong. Everything about her body looked strong and capable. She is beautiful. And My body ached to bring her closer to me.

In our years as a team I never took the time to look at her enough. I took her for granted as a kid. But now Sakura isn't that little girl anymore... In more ways than one. As I watched her move and shift with so much confidence and strength I realized that the dobe was right.

 _I love her_.

I felt a strange feeling in my chest, as if I unshackled a weight I didn't know I was carrying around with me.

I've been lying to myself for a long time.

I've loved her for a long time.

I just never thought I was worthy of her. And now, looking at the woman she has become, I know that I will never be worthy of her. She never gave up hope for me to be happy.

And I know I never want to break her heart again. Every time I felt like I had to do it, it killed me. Betraying her trust and her faith in me was one of the hardest things to do. Almost killing her was the most selfish thing I've ever done and I can't believe I fell so far.

I was such a stupid kid.

At least that train of thought got rid of my problem. I climbed out of my sleeping bag and put on a black Undershirt and my pants.

Getting used to only having one arm has been interesting. I've developed my technique by now but it's finally starting to feel almost normal...or at least as normal as my life could be.

Bringing Sakura on this trip has been an interesting decision, though not an unplanned one. I just needed the right reason; the right timing. Her optimism was a breath of fresh air from my last travel companions. And without Naruto there was no bickering or posturing to worry about. It felt almost peaceful...

I looked out at her again. She was balancing in a headstand and lowering her legs into a split.

Being this close to her and alone was dangerous, if only for the fact that I feel like my self control is being tested. This is new territory for me, and I'm not sure how I should approach the subject. I half expected her to bring it up first but she seems to be content tiptoeing around it.

 _"It's your move, buddy."_

I hate that he's right.

 _—_

"Alright Sasuke-kun, what's first?" She asked, skewering the fish she caught for breakfast while I handled the campfire.

"First, we establish an escape route." I said. She nodded and stuck the last stick next to the flame. "Our main objective is to explore Kaguya's castle, but to get there we have to enter Kaguya's core dimension."

"The one with the mountains." Sakura chimed in.

I nodded. "The one where she is currently sealed inside of the new moon we created. So there is that to think about." I poked the fire a few times and turned one of the logs over to get a more even burn. "We will have to start there, before we travel anywhere else. We have to learn as much as possible about the kind of toll it takes on our bodies, on our chakra, and what kind of environment it is and if it's survivable should we get stuck."

"That's where I come in," she said proudly. "I also had a few theoretical questions I wanted to look into while we are dimension-hopping. For example, does our geographical location in our dimension affect where we end up in Kaguya's dimension or if there is only one 'doorway' we can enter through."

Now there's an interesting thought.

"Every little bit of intel we can get from this will help us. So if you notice something, even if it seems insignificant, tell me. And write it down."

Sakura pulled out an empty scroll from her backpack and a pen. On the front of it she wrote the kanji for Mountain 山. She opened it up and began to write.

"Here's what we know so far. The Mountainous dimension is a core dimension. We know that this is the center linking our dimensions with hers, so through here we can access the other doorways. Kaguya can recharge her chakra from the victims of the infinite Tsukiyomi here so it has some properties of transference... the entire dimension is likely to have its own chakra network." She said, scribbling away. She paused and looked up at me, "How much dimensional travel have you been doing alone?"

"Just once. I landed in the Mountains and lost the use of my sharingan for 24 hours. Luckily I had brought rations with me and waited it out but realistically right now I am not capable of efficiently traveling on my own."

"Don't worry Sasuke-kun," she tapped the diamond on her forehead with the back of the pen, "I've got you covered." She smiled.

"How long does it take you to restore your reserves?" I picked up one of the fish and handed it to her. She took it and then I grabbed one for myself.

Through a mouthful of food she said "about a week, if I'm at zero." She swallowed and continued, "If I'm channeling the chakra to you and not fighting, it may be less. My base chakra will restore overnight much like yours if my body isn't damaged and healing."

"We should try to keep at least one of us in fighting shape at all times. We are no use to each other if we're both injured. How good is your Kenjutsu?" I nodded towards the sword that was resting by my pack. Sakura looked at it and scrunched her eyebrows together.

"Not great, I've been training more with axes lately."

"I'll train you." I said. She looked surprised.

"Really?"

I nodded, "If, for whatever reason, I become unable to use it, you should know how to wield it as well."

I finished my fish and grabbed my water bottle.

 _"_ Let's get started."

—

Sakura Haruno

—

"Ok now shift all of your weight to your right foot, and twist your hips, dragging your left foot behind your right."

I shifted my stance the way he instructed and the hilt of the sword naturally fell into my hand. The movement was subtle and quick.

"Now, step back and draw the sword."

I tried to do it in one fluid motion, but Sasuke's sword was long. The tip of the blade got stuck at the opening of the sheath and I had to completely readjust my position to get the whole thing out. I sighed in embarrassment over how clumsy I was.

 _Why can't I just punch things? That's so much more straightforward._

We've been practicing for about half an hour and that's just been the basics. At least Sasuke was more patient than Tsunade-shishou...

"Try it again," He said, "this time stop when you step backwards, don't draw the blade."

Shift.

Twist.

Step.

My hand gripped the handle and I froze, like he asked. Sasuke came over to me and looked at my stance.

He adjusted the sheath so it sat lower on my hips instead of my waist and pulled my shoulders back. When I dropped my eyes to watch what he was doing his knuckle lifted my chin back up and straight ahead.

"Don't take your eyes off your enemy," he said softly. He pushed my rear foot back a little more and then his hand cupped my waist and pulled me backwards, shifting my weight to my rear foot. I kept my eyes locked onto the tree that was supposed to be my target but all I could focus on was the way his touched lingered.

He circled back around to stand in front of me.

"Draw."

I pulled the sword smoothly out and watched the tip of the blade slice across Sasuke's figure, just a hairs breadth away from being cut. I heard the air pushed away by the blade.

Sasuke smirked.

I could feel the smile on my face.

He was so tragically beautiful. Honestly it was unfair. It blows my mind how much he's changed since he was a kid...but at the same time he was so familiar. Like I had forgotten this part of him still existed. The part of him that could be playful or happy. Even for a moment.

"You look happier, Sasuke-Kun," I said. He looked taken aback and embarrassed. I laughed.

"No, really. You look...lighter. If that makes sense." I handed him back his sword and he put it away next to a tree.

"I feel lighter." He said looking back up at me.

"I'm glad." I said softly, looking at the wind moving through the trees. The sound of the wind was so nice to hear after having been stuck in a hospital for the past few months. I couldn't remember the last mission I carried out... was it the Daimiyo's daughter...?

"What happened?" Sasuke asked, breaking my train of thought.

Shit...I kind of expected him to pretend it didn't happen. I don't get nightmares that often but last night I couldn't help but think of Chiyo baa-sama. My subconscious sort of spiraled from there.

"I'm fine Sasuke, really. It was just a dream." _Or rather, a memory._

"Not last night," he pointed to my shirt, "How did you survive that scar." He asked.

He caught me off guard again.

"I...ah..." I stammered, unsure of where to begin. "It's a long story..."

"Who did that to you?" He asked instead. A simpler question.

"Akasuna no Sasori."

His eyes got wide. He looked back down at my shirt where the scar was hiding.

"That was you?" He asked. "I had heard he was defeated by his grandmother and a young kunoichi..." He asked, visibly processing the information.

I nodded my head as we walked back towards our campsite, picking up a few sticks and logs along the way for more firewood.

"It was an honor, fighting by her side." I finally said. "She was truly a great ninja." I smiled, thinking back on how skilled and experienced she was. Watching her fight was a sight to behold and I will never forget it.

"So the puppet master left you with a scar through your kidney?"

"I jumped in front of the blade, actually," I confessed. Sasuke stopped walking as I said that. I turned around and saw him scowling at me, His fist was clenched at his side.

"You did...what?"He said slowly, through an obviously clenched jaw.

I immediately went on the defensive. "What, are you gonna call me stupid? Reckless? Or tell me I shouldn't have gotten in the way?" I crossed my arms, kind of irritated at the attitude he was pulling.

He let out a breath and stretched his fingers out, trying to calm down. "No. That wasn't-"

"I'm a ninja, I have to be prepared to die."

"You're a medical ninja, Sakura. If you die who heals everyone else?" He bit back at me. His words echoed with Tsunade's voice behind them.

She told me the exact same thing when we were training how to dodge enemy attacks.

I turned around and kept walking towards the campground with Sasuke trailing right behind me.

"Sakura. Sakura, wait." He said, flash stepping to catch up to me. He grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him.

Our eyes were locked on each other's, both equally frustrated.

"What." I spit out. I regretted how bitchy it sounded but I can't take it back now.

Instead of blowing up at me like I expected, Sasuke took a deep breath and stepped in closer. He looked at me with this deep sadness in his eyes that immediately made my chest want to collapse.

He held my hand tightly in his palm and pulled it to his chest.

"Tell me the whole story."

—

So I told him.

Starting with the forming of Kakashi-Han, the bell test... Gaara getting kidnapped, Kankuro getting poisoned, the antidote... everything.

Much to my surprise, Sasuke sat and listened to the whole thing. He asked a few questions here or there that sent me off on another tangent but overall he seemed to be absorbing all of the information I was giving him.

"I knew the blade was poisoned...and I knew that my antidote had worn off. But I wasn't strong enough to battle him alone so it felt like the only way I could be useful. Provide Chiyo baa-sama with an opening."

I nibbled at a granola bar as we sat and at lunch by the river.

"I began to heal the wound with the sword still in me... I could at least stop the bleeding that way but I thought the poison would've gotten me for sure. I felt it..." I touched my hand to my Ribcage and felt the scar through the fabric. "It was...excruciating. Like slowly being burned alive from the inside. But Chiyo she...she didn't take the antidote I gave her. She shoved it into my leg and then at least the burning stopped but I still had a sword going through my body and every slight shift of my weight opened a new wound." I ran my fingers up and down the length of the scar, remembering how much it hurt just to stand.

"She found her opening. Got him right through the last piece of his humanity sticking out of his chest. In the embrace of his mother and father puppets..."

I closed my eyes and could see him whisper to me about the rendezvous at the bridge. About Orochimaru and his spy. I could hear the clicking of his jaw as the chakra faded from the puppet he inhabited.

"You told me how you survived the poison, but how did you survive the sword?"

I smiled up at Sasuke, grateful for his questions. "Reanimation jutsu. Life force for a life. It's how she saved Gaara too." I looked down at my hands, "I carry her with me wherever I go." I closed my hands into fists and put them behind me, leaning backwards with my feet dangling in the water. The sound of the water trickling through the rocks filled the silence for a moment.

"I understand." He said finally. "I carry by brother with me."I looked over to him with his fingertips touching his eyelid. "These eyes... " he paused. It was like he was looking for the right words to speak. He dropped his hand instead and looked out at the water.

"That's right, I kinda met your brother for the first time right before I fought Sasori." I said, trying to encourage the conversation. Sasuke looked up at me, a little unsure of where this story was going.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, he fought Kakashi and Naruto. I stayed out of it for the most part." I explained, "I remember thinking...you two looked a lot alike, and he was terrifyingly strong..." _and I hated him for what he did to you..._ "but it wasn't even really him, it was a jutsu where he could take over someone else's body. A diversion." I clarified.

"My brother was...rigid." Sasuke said. He took his cloak off and began to relax his posture. I think he's given up on trying to explore a dimension today. I felt bad but I was also enjoying the opportunity for conversation. "He was always disciplined... I suppose he had to be with how deep undercover he was." He picked up a rock and threw it into the river with a 'plop'.

I hesitated to tell him the truth of what I knew, afraid that he would be mad at me for meddling in his past...but I felt like I had to be honest with him.

"When Naruto left to train with Jiraya I had a lot of time to myself in Konoha," I said, picking up a rock and throwing it into the river just like he did. It felt really satisfying and helped to ease some of the anxiety I was feeling. "I scoured through as much history and records as I could trying to learn about you...about your family and what happened..." I started picking at the grass as a distraction from how fast my heart was racing. I didn't dare look up at him. "I found entire bookshelves of redacted scrolls. Sealed with the blood of the Sandaime Hokage. I learned what I could from newspaper articles and the investigative report of the crime scene that called it an open and shut case but...there wouldn't be that much redacted information for a massacre like that without there being a dark secret behind it." I finally turned to look at him.

"There are answers. I know where to find them but-"

"I don't need any more answers, Sakura." He said gently. "I spent a lifetime mourning their deaths. I want to try to remember how they lived."

He looked solemnly at the water and took a deep breath, "I've been thinking about my mom a lot, actually."

I turned towards Sasuke, eager to listen.

"What was she like?"

—-

End chapter 6

Thank you so much for reading!

I wanted to explore Sasuke and Sakura's conversation and communication dynamic more in this chapter especially after the Boruto Episode

Gives me all the feels.


	7. Chapter 7

Oneirophrenia C7

—

Sasuke Uchiha

—

The next morning we woke up at sunrise. The fire pit was still smoldering from the night before, a few coals glowing in the pile of ashes.

I threw some dirt on the coals to suffocate the flame and did a final check on our rations for the day. Our goal was to travel for a few hours at most, just a quick here and back trip to test Sakura's distance theory...but we packed enough for two days, just in case.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked, looking up as she laced her boots. Her backpack sat next to her, full of medical supplies she preemptively summoned last night.

I gave her a quick affirmation and pulled out a few barrier tags from my cloak. Placing three in a triangulated position around our campsite, I activated the seal with my chakra and watched the campsite shimmer into the background of the forest. That should protect us from unexpected visitors, at least the human ones.

Squirrels always seemed to find their way through these things.

Sakura walked up beside me and slung her bag over her shoulder with a determined smile on her face. "You're up first, Sasuke-kun."

Concentrating my chakra into my eyes I felt the Rinne-sharingan whirring to life. My vision shifted into hyper awareness and as a breeze passed through the forest I was suddenly aware of every leaf falling off the trees as the first signs of autumn made itself clear.

Out of my peripheral, I could see Sakura tightening the Velcro on her gloves, anticipating anything. Her forearms flexed and I could see her pulse racing in her wrist. I turned my head so she wasn't in my line of sight while I opened the portal.

Focusing all my chakra I picked a fixed point in space. Visualizing a pinprick sized hole tearing wider and wider still. The trees began to distort and the portal came into view, black and ominous and wildly unstable.

I could only keep it open for a moment or two. Widening the portal until we could safely jump through we were finally ready to begin our mission.

"Let's go."

—

Stepping through the portal felt like jumping into a magnetic field. You can feel the shifting of the atmospheric pressure as we entered the mountain range.

The sky glowed with an ominous green, but the sun rose in the east, just like home. You could see the hazy outline of the moon where Kaguya and Zetsu are imprisoned, fading into the sky as the sunlight filtered through the atmosphere.

Sakura looked around, scanning our surroundings for threats. "So far so quiet," she said, kneeling down to the earth. Grabbing a handful of dirt from the ground she examined the soil. "It's damp, and cool, it probably rained a few days ago. There's potential for sustaining plant life but..." she looked around again straining her eyes into the distance, "not a tree in sight."

"Grab a sample, everything helps." I allowed my eyes to rest from the strain, a headache beginning to form. Sakura took a vial from her bag, packing the dirt inside and capping it with a cork before labeling it with the Kanji for mountain again.

A wave of exhaustion washed over me as the flow of chakra to my eyes suddenly halted. I pinched the bridge of my nose and waited for the headache to pass. On my left I heard the sound of water sloshing in a bottle.

"Here, take a break. It's my turn," she smiled, handing me the drink. I gratefully took it while she rummaged through her bag for supplies.

Sakura pulled out a Kunai and a stack of what appeared to be exploding tags. I watched as she wrapped the handle of the knife with the parchment and pricked her finger on the blade, placing a drop of blood on the handle before embedding it in the dirt on the top of the peak we stood on.

"How good is your eyesight?" She asked, putting the extra tags back in the bag.

"Do you have to ask?" I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes, "If we run into trouble, this beaconing tag is coded to my chakra. Wherever we end up, I can activate it to send up a flare so we can find this location again." Sakura ran her other hand over the pinprick to heal. Her hand glowed green as she continued, "if we need to, can you use Amenotejikara to switch places with the kunai, or do you need something bigger?"

As to be expected, Sakura continues to surprise and impress me. Her analytical skill is almost at the level of Shikamaru.

"Theoretically, a kunai should work, but I've never brought anyone else with me with my Amenotejikara."

"Then we will have to test your range with it while we explore." She said smiling. Getting up off the ground and dusting off her knees she maintained the sparkling sense of optimism she had as a kid. I'll never admit it out loud but it made the work feel less heavy. I appreciated it.

"Your theory about relative dimensional space seems to be holding up so far. The sun seems to be rising in the same direction as back in our world. We should travel A few miles south. If you're right, we should be able to open up another portal closer to the main road we traveled on."

Sakura nodded in affirmation and we began to walk, the kunai glinting in the sunrise behind us.

—

"Sasuke?"

"Hn..."

"You see it too...right?"

"...yeah."

The valley in front of them shimmered like a prism, reflecting light in a soft wave that seemed to breathe with the landscape. It looked like a barrier of some kind, stretching out across the mountains for miles beyond where we could see.

Sakura picked up a rock from the floor and tossed it at the apparition from where we stood, a good 30 feet away. It appeared to fall right through, not disturbing or awakening anything, so we cautiously got closer.

Looking up towards the sky the shimmer stretched into the cloudless blue, its iridescent reflection glittering in the sun.

"Sasuke, look..." Sakura pointed straight ahead. Our outlines began to reflect themselves in the prism, like a cloudy haze. The figures mirrored ours as Sakura lifted her right arm, the reflection moved it's left. "Do you think it's some sort of genjutsu?"

"It's definitely a trap. Until we know what it does, we should be cautious," I said. Sakura nodded in agreement, grabbing a kunai from her pouch and preparing for a fight. Out of my periphery I see her try to take a step forward, and instinctively blocked her movement with my arm.

"Don't do anything stupid."

"Naruto isn't here, so one of us has to," her hand reached up to grab mine, "And you're out of chakra," she said, shoving past me without hesitation and approached the shimmer in front of her. Her hazy reflection did the same, gaining clarity with each step. Soon she was face to face with a mirror image with an iridescent sheen.

Sakura moved her head side to side and watched as the copy did the same. She side stepped, and the copy moved in sync with her, but with a slight lag. I readied my grip on my sword and stepped closer, poising to interfere.

Slowly, Sakura reaches out towards her shimmery self and smiles. The reflection smiles back. My heart suddenly raced with anxiety as they got closer...I had a bad feeling about this...

Their fingertips touched and it was like the world collapsed.

"Look out!" I yelled, drawing my sword. But it was too late...

The shimmer collapsed and I heard Sakura scream. Running towards her as she collapsed on the ground I don't see any sign of the shimmery Sakura or of the barrier that divided the valley. I scooped Sakura off the ground and propped her up against a nearby boulder.

Her face shimmered with an iridescent sheen before fading back into her skin.

"Sakura...Sakura wake up," I shook her shoulder and pressed my hand against her cheek. She was still breathing, but was fully unconscious. _Great_. _Im out of chakra and my teammate is passed out._

I couldn't even tell if she was under a genjutsu or not. I drew my sword and decided to scan the surroundings again. The shimmer was gone, and the horizon looked the same as it did in every other direction. Full of fucking mountains. I grit my teeth and tried to strategize the next move when I heard a deep, guttural laugh from behind me.

A chill went down my spine as I turned around.

Another deep, sinister laugh erupted from Sakura's chest. She straightened up and her eyes glosses over with a dark haze.

The smile on her face was not hers anymore, it was sadistic and dangerous.

Ice ran through my veins as I saw her body become possessed. My heart dropped in my chest and I took a step backwards, gripping the handle of my sword.

"Aaah...Finally!," she laughed, her hands rising up in front of her face. She clenched her fists, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Some fresh fucking air." She pulled the hitai-ate off her hair and shook it out, tousling it so it was more loose and messy than usual.

"Who are you?" I asked, ready to strike at any moment. Sakura looked at me confused.

"Who am I?" She asked, raising a finger to her chin to ponder she finally "What do you mean, Sasuke-Kun? It's just me..." She drawled out and feigned an innocent look before a smirk found its way into her face. She bit her lip playfully and I tried not to think about why I felt a blood rush.

Shit. This was bad.

I pulled the sword from its sheath and pointed the blade at her neck. I didn't want to hurt her though, so this was going to be difficult. I needed my sharingan so I could get inside her mind and figure out why she was acting like this.

"Leave her. Now." She laughed again, stepping towards me.

"Oh please," she said, her voice low and dripping with sarcasm, "I've been here the whole time, Sasuke-kun. Hiding in plain sight," she touched her fingertip to the blade and sliced it. Without breaking eye contact with me she put the wounded finger into her mouth and moaned. "That shimmery thing probably just scrambled my consciousness around," she pondered, healing her finger, "I have an awful headache..." she pouted.

I still didn't have enough chakra to activate my sharingan, I needed to stall her. I pressed the blade against her throat instead. " _What_ are you?" She smiled sweetly, her face looking so much like the girl I knew but those ghostly eyes left me feeling uneasy. I had to think fast, how do I free her from this without...

With a flick of her finger, the blade shattered. Disintegrated down to the hilt until I was left with nothing but the leather grip in my hand. In my surprise she caught me off guard and stepped in closer.

"Mmm..." she sighed, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. "Are you worried?" She sighed, melancholic and a little pouty. Her fingertips traced my collarbone through my shirt, I looked down to see her usual bright green eyes were now dark, like a forest. Her chakra felt the same, but it had a different flow to it now. Usually it ebbed as naturally as breathing, but now...now it was almost playful. It reminded me of the Ninneko, when their tails would sway back and forth before pouncing.

"Think of me like a Genjutsu. Sakura's hidden will. She created me on accident, a long time ago. When she was just a little girl struggling to find herself. I've been here since before we even met you."

Her hand reached up to grab my jawline and she held it firmly in her grasp as she leaned in, stopping just before kissing me.

"Do you want to know where she is?" She whispered.

I didn't answer.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you. We share the same heart after all. My attraction to you however, is a little more...primal than hers...that is if you feel the need to differentiate. Technically I'm just _unrestrained_." She dragged her fingertip under my chin and stepped away with a flick of her wrist. "I'll give you some of my chakra if you want, so you can find her in my memories." She held out her hand, smirking. "Unless you wanna have a different kind of fun," she winked.

Ignoring the uncomfortable forwardness of THAT...her offer felt like a trap. "What's the catch."

"No catch, Sasuke-kun. But I'm warning you, it's not very pretty in here," she pointed to her head. "And now that I'm the one awake, all of her demons have come out to play. All the hatred, sadness, and suffering we endured is being let out of all the little boxes she put us in to 'compartmentalize'. You just need to find which one has dragged her under. Sakura manifested me out of her fear of being anything less than _delicate_ , _"_ She sneered at the word like it was poison _. "_ There is an entire realm in her mind that belongs to me and the illusion she created to restrain herself in reality. This is where you need to start your search for her consciousness. I'm warning you though...it doesn't take kindly to visitors, just ask Ino."

"What does the Yamanaka have to do with this?"

"See for yourself," She said, holding out her hand .

I weighed the options...and hesitantly reached out.

The rush of chakra filled my body like a glass of water and my sharingan spun to life.

—

Sakura Haruno

—

 _Am I ...dead?_

I felt myself blink but the world around me was nothing but darkness.

 _What happened?_

I lifted my hands and was pleasantly surprised I could see them. I looked down at my feet, bare and standing in...water?

Cautiously, I took a step forward. The sound of water splashing with my footsteps echoed in the darkness.

 _Where am I?_

I looked around, but saw nothing but black. I took a few more steps forward but heard a sound coming from behind me. I turned around to find a younger version of myself, crouched down near the ground and crying softly.

Coming face to face with my younger self was...jarring. I _was so small..._

My hair was choppy and growing in uneven, it covered my tiny round face in a halfhearted attempt to hide. I kind of wanted to laugh, the little pout on my baby face was so cute and sad at the same time. I remember feeling like an outcast, being teased.

I know now that what I went through wasn't anything compared to what Naruto had to deal with growing up but as a child that was my reality. My world was so small, and I stayed safe for a long time.

I walked towards her and crouched in front.

She looked up at me and wiped her eyes, trying to compose herself. Putting on a brave face before looking up at me.

"I'm lost..." she said softly, wiping the tears from her face.

"Me too," I smiled, holding out my hand, "Do you want to look with me?"

I wasn't even sure what we were looking for, but it beat sitting in the darkness.

The little me nodded and took my hand, and without anything else to do - we started walking.

—

Sorry for the VERY late update everyone. I just had to pick up and move my entire life across the country so I've had a lot on my mind. But the new Sasuke Retsuden spoilers are giving me LIFE and I'm ready to jump into writing this story again.

I have a lot planned, and a lot of puzzle pieces to assemble so bare with me.

Hope you enjoy!


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